Miyakonojo

Wash Me

2011-11-25T23:21:00.001+09:00

I've been going through and organizing and consolidating the thousands of photos I have saved on the computer, my cell phone and ipod. It's an ongoing process. There are duplicates here and there, plus the occasional blurry picture from times and places I can't recall.

This one made me laugh.

I remember where and when I took this like it was yesterday.

It was about two-and-a-half years ago and some friends were having a barbecue party up at Tsutsujigaoka Park in the backroads of Mimata. I decided to walk the thirteen kilometers up there since that's what I like to do.

We had a grand time, and when it came time to wrap up the party we all pitched in and cleaned up and loaded the cars and I caught a ride back into town with one the folks who drove.

While we were packing the cars up to leave I was admiring how dirty this dude Shingo's car was.

Back in the States when I was younger it was always fun to write "Wash Me" on the window of a dusty car, so, neither aware nor caring if it was done here, I decided to try it out and see if our Japanese friends would find it as entertaining as we do in the West.

The only guy who didn't find it funny was Shingo.

This was also the day that Shingo's surly friend got angry about the division of clean-up duties and threw his hands up and told everyone they were jerks and then started walking back to town. We caught up with him a ways down the road and convinced him to get in the car and stop being stubborn. I rolled down the back seat window and reminded him that it took me almost three hours to walk up there earlier, and that was just from Mimata, so he gave up and got in the car and we drove off.

Thick Tongue

2011-11-19T19:50:00.001+09:00

My first time traveling north of Tokyo was awesome. The city of Sendai in Miyagi Prefecture is still visibly recovering from that massive earthquake eight months ago, but the folks up there are as warm and welcoming as can be. I have lots to say about my seventy-two hours in that neck of the woods.

I wasn't aware of this before last week, but one of Miyagi's most famous products is beef tongue. On Sunday night we were taken out to a beef tongue restaurant and ate like kings.

Tuesday, just before hopping on a bullet train back south, I made sure to stop at one of Sendai Station's souvenir shops and procured about three hundred grams of thickly cut beef tongue.

And the best part of living in a society obsessed with gift-giving for politeness sake is that I just wrote down my name and address and payed an extra five bucks and the shop sent the box of beef tongue to my house.

I like bringing back souvenirs but I hate carrying them, especially across Tokyo, from the main train terminal to the airport. Plus, the lady asked me if I'd be home within six hours because the beef will go bad. From Sendai Station to my doorstep it was almost exactly eight hours.

The tongue arrived on Thursday and Reiko cooked up a bit of it for us tonight, along with two varieties of avocado and shrimp salad.

We also stopped in at Mr. Otsubo's wine shop and picked up a little gem in his cellar. He invited us to a wine party next week.

It's Been a While Since I Wrote a Letter

2011-11-12T00:32:00.001+09:00

Reiko doesn't really use e-mail, and even if she did I wouldn't use that sort of communication tool to send her this kind of message.

She has a Yahoo Japan address that I set up for her so she can buy things from the online auctions. Once in a while someone will be selling a handbag or concert tickets for pretty cheap and she likes to try for those. She generally succeeds with the handbags, but the Dreams Come True tickets get fairly pricey.

Out this way what westerners call "texting" is just called "mail". Reiko and I mail a lot. We're both busy folks and usually what we need to communicate during the day can be conveyed easily and succinctly in a quick cell phone mail; dinner plans, grocery pick-ups, gonna be a little late.

I bought a stamp tonight at the Family Mart down the street. I licked it and put it on an envelope.

Reiko is one of those lucky people who doesn't care about nor has a need for a social network. She keeps in touch with her friends the old fashioned way: she calls them up and meets them for dinner. Sure, she has a few friends who've moved away to Tokyo or Hiroshima, but they always come back for O-Bon or weddings or just because.

I just checked my cell phone and in the last seventy-two hours Reiko and I have traded over twenty text messages and only one phone call. Most of the texts are just a few words but they all contain important information that streamlined the course of our day so we could reach our mutual goal more easily and quickly: get home, enjoy dinner and relax together.

Tomorrow morning I'm putting a letter in the mailbox.

Reiko's mom texted me this afternoon to ask what time I'd be picking her up tomorrow. I texted back that I'd be at her house around nine-thirty in the morning. We're driving north together, to Nobeoka. I have a wedding party to attend, and Michiko is tagging along for the ride because she has an old friend up there she's planning on boozing with.

The next morning, Sunday, I have to escape early and head to the Miyazaki Airport. I'm traveling to the far north of Japan for a couple of days on business. Won't be back til late Tuesday night.

If my timing is right, the letter will arrive at my house on Monday. It needs to. That's the day.

In Japanese there are different words for "anniversary" depending on what it is that's being remembered.

I don't know that there's a word in any language for what we remember on this particular day.

In Japanese the word "anniversary" is generally reserved for happy remembrances.

In my absence I hope this missive will suffice, and while I can't use a word reserved only for happy remembrances in this particular correspondence, I certainly hope the words of happiness to describe the future shine through.

Because, after all, the future is bright.

Mixing Business With Pleasure

2011-11-06T22:47:00.000+09:00

Yesterday morning Reiko drove Bruno and I to the highway bus stop on the north end of Miyakonojo at five-fifteen, and she was not happy about it. She was even less happy about missing a turn in the pre-dawn darkness and having to circle back around.

We made it to Fukuoka, had our teaching seminar, and set about the leisurely part of the trip.

I walked around before dinner time and enjoyed the big city at dusk, all the people hustling about the crowded sidewalks of Daimyo and Yakuin. There's this wine bar I enjoy called La Javanaise. Reiko and I found it a few years ago and since it's open from three in the afternoon it makes an excellent pre-supper stop. Plus, it was kinda warm and humid up there yesterday evening so they yanked out all the front windows and it was open to the street.

Over a glass of red wine I talked with this nice old guy from Iwate Prefecture who had family that went missing in the March 11 tsunami. He also talked at length about his daughter who ran off with some Brazilian guy and is now living somewhere in America.

Then it was dinner time.

Bruno and I met our friend Mr. Noda for some Mexican food at this great little joint called El Borracho. I've been there a couple of times before and man the food is great. They have this tequila sampler set so we had a couple of those and Mr. Noda was definitely feeling his inner Mexican.

We ate a bunch there and then wandered off to a couple of other curious spots, including the International Bar. They have these one-liter sized beers there that almost took us down. Almost.

This morning was a bit rough. Luckily we had a brilliant idea; something I haven't had in a long, long time.

Steak for breakfast. With french fries!

And there were cheerleaders! Right across from our table!

Heaven's Feed Bag

2011-10-31T23:59:00.000+09:00

I forgot to tell Reiko there was no school lunch today.

Every Wednesday is lunch box day at the kindergarten and all the kids love bringing their lunch boxes to school. On sunny days they sit outside and eat. I do too, but I walk to a nearby park and eat in peace and quiet. Plus, the lunch boxes that Reiko makes for me are non-regulation for the kindergarten. If you've seen pictures of any of my Wednesday lunches you know what I'm talking about.

The neighborhood I work in, Toshimi-cho, has a bunch of great places to eat lunch. I could eat out for lunch two weeks straight and not hit the same spot, easily. And that's just on foot.

I have certain favorite spots in the Toshimi neighborhood. For years I went to Epaule, this greasy spoon down the road. The nice old lady who ran it died a few years ago and the owners changed and since then I've been in maybe once or twice but it's not the same.

There was Katsu-masa a block away. Now it's a Chinese restaurant with a decent lunch special and free rice refills. A good friend of mine used to own it but he also passed away suddenly, from a brain aneurysm. He cooked up the best deep-fried pork ever.

There's this place a few blocks away on a little side street called Ryo that I like because the lunch set is reasonably-sized and priced. For 650 yen you can choose from three lunch sets, usually a meat, curry and pasta. I find the place particularly curious because it's run by two middle-aged dudes. They are a comedy duo waiting to happen. If either of them ever cracks a smile I might mention it to them.

Today, however, I hit up a little joint I haven't been to in over six months. It's only in part that I've been avoiding it. Reiko's pretty good about making lunch boxes so I rarely go out to eat, and when I do during the summer I generally just hit up a lunch box shop and head to a park.

Tenka (天花) literally means "Heaven Flower", but there is nothing heavenly about it except for the size of their meals. It's a feed bag. And there ain't no flowers, either. The place is 99% blue-collar dudes at lunchtime. The only woman I've ever seen in there is the lady who serves the food, who is decidedly past retirement age and I always feel like I should just go and get my food from the kitchen myself.

I've had the chicken nanban set in here a bunch of times, and I've learned my lesson. It's not for me. I took a picture of it once and you need to set it next to a car tire for size comparison. I've limped painfully out of Tenka on occasion because I went for it and tackled an entire plate.

Today I waltzed in with my newspaper in hand, sat down, ordered the katsu-don without looking at the menu, and proceeded to devour the entire tray.

Katsu-don, miso soup and daikon pickles. Mmmm.

I was hungry. A feed bag kind of hungry. And Tenka satisfied that. I probably won't be back again for another six months, mostly due to the fact that as I write this, eight hours after said meal, I am still not hungry.

Sunset Fliers

2011-10-31T21:24:00.001+09:00

Usually on Mondays I finish work about four-thirty and have an hour before I start in on my private lessons. On the way home I make a detour by Reiko's mom's house to pick up some dinner.

Reiko doesn't get done with her job until six, and since I do private lessons from five-thirty until after nine her mom makes me a plate of something that I can munch on between students. Well, usually it's Reiko making my dinner but she does it in her mom's kitchen.

Today I swung by and of course Lili was barking like crazy. I snuck in the patio door and talked to Michiko for a few minutes and thanked her for the barbecue and beer last night and grabbed the plate of natto/takana fried rice and headed back out to the car.

Overhead were these two para-sailors. I guess that's what you'd call them. They have some sort of engine attached to them and they just fly around like drunk birds in the evening sky. All the kids in the neighborhood were gathering in the park across the street to watch them.

Halloween Fail

2011-10-30T00:47:00.000+09:00

Friday evening was the annual kindergarten Halloween Party. This was my ninth one.

Last year I went all out and spent a weekend making a costume. This year I had planned on doing Colonel Sanders but when the pieces became too hard to find I gave up and dug out the afro wig and goggles and made sort of a biohazard zombie costume.

Bruno, on the other hand, fully succeeded with Super Mario.

The test of a costume is, of course, if people have to ask you what you are.

I was asked numerous times.

Even today, when I showed Reiko the picture, she asked me what the heck I was going for.

The best part of the party was for sure the Halloween tattoos. I tested a few out on my arms and failed, but eventually figured out how to do it and put this one on my leg.

A Hawaiian, a Canadian, a Texan and a Random Jerk Walk Into a Bar...

2011-10-25T22:51:00.001+09:00

I'd say upwards of 80% of my life these days is spent around non-English-speaking Japanese folks.

Obviously I spend a great deal of time with my wife and her family, but there are also my fire department comrades, my neighbors, my co-workers and the other random derelicts around town from the post office clerks to the pub stool warmers who I try my hardest to communicate with in a language not my own.

Whenever possible, though, I try to get together with these dudes. We hit the town talkin' that English like a fireworks factory set ablaze.

This photo was taken a couple of weeks ago at Nangokke, a small bar near the main drag in central Miyakonojo, one of our main haunts.

Flame Garden

2011-10-25T22:27:00.003+09:00

Down the street from the kindergarten there's this apartment building I always walk past. It's a really nice little place. Good location, modern.

The thing that always gets me is the name.

Almost every apartment building I've seen in Japan has a name, and most have that name emblazoned somewhere where it's easily seen. Back in my single days I lived a few blocks away from this joint in a building called　コーポ城大 (Koupo Kidai), which basically means "Big Castle Apartments". My pad was maybe two hundred square feet. Apparently there's no word in Japanese for "cozy".

I know it's trendy to have foreign names slapped on your building, but someone needs to do their homework, both owners and renters. Who the hell wants to live in a flame garden?

I certainly hope this place never burns down. If it does, however, you can bet I'm gonna be makin' a few surly comments.

Snake

2011-10-17T23:04:00.000+09:00

Rain or shine, I used to walk to work every day. It's only twenty-five minutes from my house to the kindergarten and there's nothing like a refreshing morning walk to get you warmed up, and no better way to wind down after a long day with the kids than a nice stroll through the backstreets between Toshimi-cho and Nishi-Ueki.

These days I teach English privately right after work so I gotta take the car or I won't make it in time.

The days I can walk to work are few and far between now, so in the evenings when I carry the trash down to the garbage station I'll take the long way back to the house and often end up walkin' the neighborhood for thirty minutes or so.

And lunchtime.

I have an hour lunch break, only a third of which is used for eating, so for the remainder I've made it a point to get out and walk around and see how far away from work I can get in the time I have.

His head is sticking out from the grass in the upper left.

Autumn in Miyakonojo is beautiful; cool evenings and warm afternoons. Right now it's perfect for strolling about.

In the summer I'm pretty used to seeing at least one or two snakes a week, especially when walking along the river or around rice fields. Now that it's already the second half of October I don't expect to see any more of our slithery friends.

Then he started to creep out toward me.

Today, however, I met this guy over near my barber shop in Ayamebaru. If I'd been listening to my ipod I wouldn't have noticed him. He had his head sticking out of the grass on the side of the road and seemed to be watching something. I stopped about three meters from him and watched as he slithered out into the open, then I hopped up onto an embankment to get a better view.

I often listen to talk radio with my earbuds in while I walk around, but some days I prefer the sounds of the world around me. Today I made a good decision.


I stood in some flowers on the side of the road and watched him cross.

Soon after I met this snake I met a shaggy dog who seemed to be on his own and who was displeased about something, possibly about being on his own. He barked at me and headed my direction so I turned off onto a side street and eventually came to the main road that leads back to the kindergarten.

I started thinking about how frustrating it must be to be a snake. They have no arms and no legs and everyone hates them. They've been a symbol for evil and corruption for as long as we have written records. They really have nothing good going for them, and yet somehow they thrive and capture the imagination.

When I Do Good, I Feel Good. When I Do Bad, I Feel Bad.

2011-10-16T21:40:00.000+09:00

All the good advice I've ever gotten has an equally compelling opposite.

"He who hesitates is lost."

"Strike while the iron is hot."

Well which is it? What am I supposed to do?

The answer is, of course: take advice with a grain of salt. Or, more simply put, smile and nod and then go do what you gotta do. I've tried to make a career of this, only succeeding sporadically.

I just wish the advice about the hot iron had inspired me the other day.

Come December, it will be four and a half years since my last sojourn to North America, so I'm not taking it lightly when purchasing plane tickets back to the old country. I've been scanning the market for a while now, every few days, and the other night I came across a pretty good deal; better than the usual.

Rules are important when credit cards and the internet (and whiskey) are involved, so I decided to sleep on it. The next day the deal went away.

But a light shines through cloudy skies. And Reiko is a genius. We still ended up with a pretty good deal on plane tickets and we're gonna have a nice little layover in Seoul, which for my money has the best airport in the world.

So we're headin' to America this Christmas, after four and a half years. I wonder if they'll even let me back in.

Reiko and I havin' dinner. 2011, October 15.

I've had a couple of raised eyebrows pointed my way when I mention how long it's been since I've been to the homeland, and it never ceases to bring me down a notch when considering the reasons for the delay.

This blog, like my plans to visit family and friends and a lot of other things, has drifted into one of those stagnant grottoes.

It's time to pull the curtain back. It's time to write about what has happened and what is happening. It's time to go back to the beginning and figure out which end is up.

Early last year I tried to write some blog entries, and there are a few. However, since the autumn of 2008 it's been impossible for me to write anything remotely real. When I read old entries from this blog I'm envious of the person who wrote it.

Regardless, here we are.

A lot of things have transpired and what I want to do now is share again, like I used to. The "Why?" and the "How?" and the "What the hell?" The person who used to write this blog had a certain perspective. The person who writes it now has a different one. I want to explore what that means, and if possible bridge those two worlds.

Reiko is painting her nails while I write this. I told her I was writing a blog and she perked up. "Been a while, eh?" she quipped. She's never read my blog and couldn't if she tried but she likes that I do it and has been wondering when I'll start again, probably because it gets me out of her hair.

The last "regular" blog I wrote was on November 3rd, 2008. The ones after that were my somewhat sad attempt to return to "normal".

On November 13th, 2008 I got a phone call at work.

That never ever happens.

And so the new chapter began.

Kids: They Dance Before They Learn There's Anything That Isn't Music

2010-03-11T23:49:00.001+09:00

The end of the school year is approaching and next month the new school year will begin. A lot of the kids I teach will be starting elementary school in a few weeks.

Every year around this time I get thank you cards and photos from some of the nursery schools and kindergartens I get farmed out to by my boss.

I realized the other day that I'm coming up on seven years doing this gig and that all these kids I have in my classes who are embarking on their formal education were born after I moved to Miyakonojo.

These are the kids from Kaminagae Nursery School. I visit them twice a month. Most of them can do the Hokey Pokey like a pro and can tell me in pretty good English what animals they like and don't like.

For our grand finale on Monday we sang a rousing rendition of Bingo. The version I have is excellent for doing air guitar so we rocked out. They never quite got the whole clapping in place of the letters thing. The first verse was fine. They knew the B-I-N-G-O part. Every verse after that always came out clap-clap-N-G-O.

On the back of the card they gave me everyone drew a self-portrait.

This other photo (below) is from a kindergarten on the other side of town that I visit for just thirty minutes a month. Their teacher is unlike many of the other kindergarten teachers I come across. She engages me in conversation and actively takes part in whatever we're doing without being obtrusive.

I'm gonna miss these guys. Our class time was always right after lunch on Wednesdays and they always brought their A Game. They're gonna be fun first-graders.

As of April I'm gonna start bringing my own slippers with me when I visit other schools. After this many years you'd think I'd have gotten tired of the random footwear.

One Day Your Life Will Flash Before Your Eyes... Make Sure It's Worth Watching

2010-02-22T23:50:00.000+09:00

I think this was the first weekend of the year that I didn't have anywhere I needed to be or anyone I had to meet, so Saturday evening Reiko and I decided to have a light dinner of stuff that goes great with wine and just kick back in the comfort of our cozy little house.

Reiko announced she was gonna whip up some garlic bread, and we buzzed over to pick up a few things from the deli section of the Daiei grocery store in the Aeon Mall.

The wine selection around these parts isn't extraordinary but we lucked out at Daiei with a rare find in Miyakonojo: Chianti. My favorite. Reiko doesn't have a lot of experience with Chianti but she had one glass and was hooked.

There's this restaurant in the mall called Sakura where Reiko's aunt Junko works, so we stopped and talked with her for a few minutes. They have a quaint little bakery in there and that's where we got the French bread for the garlic bread.

Sunday Reiko and her mom decided they wanted to drive up to Takazaki to check out this area where the plum blossoms are already out, so I was enlisted to drive.

We had a delicious lunch at this tonkatsu joint in Kobayashi called Sanmaruko-tei. I filled up on a cheese-chicken katsu set and free coffee refills, then we set about finding some blooming plum trees.

The weather was gorgeous and we had a genuinely relaxing afternoon of walking around and smelling flowers.

Hijiki

2010-02-18T23:17:00.000+09:00

I love Wednesdays. That's the day there's no lunch served at the kindergarten and all the kids bring their home-made lunch boxes.

There are times when I just duck out and head down the street to Tenka for their huge Chicken-Nanban special or sometimes a few blocks further down to the Chinese buffet. If I'm feelin' more mellow I stroll over to this quiet, smoky place called Ryo, run conspicuously by two men in aprons.

Most of the time, however, Reiko (often with the help of her mom) whips up these amazing lunch boxes for me. It's always a double-decker box, the bottom part holding rice with fish flakes and the top part bustin' with broccoli, grilled shrimp, fried chicken, lettuce, pasta salad... always an excellent assortment.

Yesterday's lunch was top notch as always, and I used my entire hour to savor each bite.

Today was back to reality, though.

Now don't get me wrong. I love the kindergarten lunches. School lunch in Japan is such a far cry from the microwave burritos I used to eat back in the cafeteria in the States. Kids here eat healthy, well-balanced meals and most of them seem to actually enjoy it.

I've got one beef with our school's menu, though.

About once a month we get hijiki, a dish usually served as a side item. At our lunch table it's the main course.

It's healthy and it tastes good (especially with a good dose of red pepper), but after about four bites you're done.

I often get hijiki as a snack with beer at some pubs around here. It's basically coarse seaweed cooked with chopped vegetables, soybeans and little bits of beef, and it's sorta the elevator music of food: no complaints, it makes the ride more pleasant, but I wouldn't buy the album.

How Was Your Exorcism Today, Honey?

2010-02-17T00:42:00.000+09:00

That's what I asked Reiko tonight when I got home from work.

She said it was fine and continued preparing dinner, pointing to a bag she got at the shrine today. I looked inside and there was some tea, a few pamphlets and a wood talisman that she's supposed to hang somewhere in the house to help ward off evil spirits.

Great.

Last night Reiko asked me to wake her up early today. I figured it was so she could continue working on the beef tail soup she's been brewing up on the kerosene heater in the living room (that's another story... sometimes I feel like we should just live in a tent and wear rope belts), and I was partly right.

Before I left for the kindergarten this morning she said she had a busy day ahead, and I asked why. She said she was going for 厄払い, or yakubarai.

I gave her that look I often do that says, "I could take a really good guess as to what you're talking about but I'll probably be wrong."

She wrinkled up her eyebrows and said she told me about this weeks ago and that I even looked it up in the dictionary so figure it out yourself. For the record, I do not remember my wife telling me she was going to get exorcised.

I do, however, remember her telling me it was almost one of her unlucky years. In Japan there are certain ages that are traditionally unlucky so folks visit Shinto shrines to "exorcise" the bad spirits that may plague them during these unlucky times.

Later in the day I looked up yakubarai and found the literal translation to be "exorcism" and chuckled over the fact that the word has such a magnificent chasm of connotation between the English and the Japanese. When I think of an exorcism I think of Linda Blair, while my wife thinks about payin' thirty bucks for a magic charm and a word with the Shinto priest.

The exorcism doesn't seem to have done anything to make Reiko less surly, that's for sure. I'm far less worried about her being possessed by a demon than I am about her being possessed by a 19th Century coal miner or an aging jazz musician, the cranky disposition of which she displays much of the time.

She did serve up the first batch of that beef tail soup tonight, however, and it was awesome. The broth is tangy and spicy and the meat just falls right off the bone when you touch it. We have enough to keep us well fed for the next several days.

Tonight's menu also included this natto and sprout stir fry and a pot of random boiled things, the leftovers of which I'm willing to bet most of my monthly salary will be in my lunch tomorrow.

Reiko suggested we continue our tail soup festival tomorrow with some Bordeaux from the wine cabinet...

Our Landlord Yamanouchi-san Is Awesome

2010-02-07T17:22:00.001+09:00

So I've just been hangin' around the house today.

Reiko and her mom and Mi-chan drove to Nichinan to go to a hot spring and I opted out so I could walk around and do nothing. This morning I had a sunrise fireman meeting and after that I decided the rest of the day is going to be just for me.

Late in the afternoon I popped in this blu-ray we rented. It's this movie called "Doubt". So far it's mildly interesting and the people in it are good but I have no idea where it's going.

A little afternoon beer sets the mood. Reiko's not around to complain so I figured a nicely chilled tall can of Kirin was in order.

A few minutes ago the doorbell rang. I thought maybe it was the neighborhood dues collection lady or possibly Soichi from the real estate office downstairs asking if we have any coffee.

I hopped down the stairs to the entrance hall, opened the door and... nobody.

On with the shoes and jump out the door and... I spot a familiar silver van with a shaggy dog in the front passenger seat.

It's our landlord.

He goes fishing all the time down in Kushima and Shibushi. Last month we got a bunch of freshly caught sardines. Every once in a while he brings us flying fish. Those guys make excellent sashimi.

I said hi and he mumbled something I couldn't catch while his cigarette dangled from his lip, and he opened the back of his van and told me to get ready.

Before I knew it I was holding what is sure to be tonight's dinner.

The Ol' Cookie Duster's Gotta Go

2010-01-14T23:21:00.000+09:00

The thing that always gets me is I never hear any comments, feedback or constructive criticism about my actual lessons.

The person who is supposedly my superior has seen me teach once in the last three years, and even when she did come to my lesson she had no idea what was happening. For that reason I'm kinda glad I don't get technical lesson feedback because it would be cosmically uninformed and useless.

Unfortunately, I do get feedback of a different kind.

Over the years I've been told to turn the lights off to save electricity, wear a necktie, make sure the kids line up their shoes properly, don't teach three-year-olds how to say "I like... " because that's what the four-year-olds learn, don't sing "Eency Weency Spider" in the autumn because it's more of a summer song and other pull-your-hair-out stuff of that sort.

Today I was told, via another teacher, to please shave my beard.

I asked why, and the teacher said the principal was concerned about it. I asked why, since I had trimmed it all nice just last night. She said it wasn't the proper image.

Last year I had a beard for over six months and no one said a word (except my lunatic supervisor who is now, thankfully, far far away from here) until the chief herself asked me to shave it for the start of the new school year. I said sure because I was gonna shave it anyway since the weather was getting hot.

And that's the thing. I was planning on shaving pretty soon anyway, so I really don't care about the beard. It's being told to do something about my appearance simply because my boss doesn't like how I look that makes me angry.

The kids love the beard. Teachers at other nursery schools I go to have told me they dig it. It keeps my face warm in the winter. Reiko thinks it's cool. I like it.

If my boss didn't like my sweater would I have to not wear it anymore? It's basically the same thing.

The other thing is that I've had jobs before where it stated in the employment agreement what the facial hair rules were.

Nothing in my current employment contract says anything about beards being against the rules. So many things have come up recently that are completely the whim of my boss, like when she tried to make me ask her permission every time I leave the premises on my lunch break.

It does state in my contract that I have to wear a necktie so I can't very well use my contract as an arguement. I'd much rather shave my beard than wear a tie.

If my boss brings up the wearing a tie thing again, though, I'm growin' the beard back.

Maintaining Simplicity

2010-01-11T18:47:00.000+09:00

A long time ago I used to love putting stuff up on the wall. My old apartment back in LA was covered in framed movie posters and random pictures of friends and family.

These days Reiko and I put our favorite photos in little frames and set them around the house in random spots.

I've really come to enjoy the simplicity of very little furniture and nicely textured, undecorated walls. I've always disliked clutter, but now it seems I've taken it to a new level. Luckily Reiko's on board with me, which surprises me a bit because her mom's house is typical of many homes out in these parts: mind-boggling clutter.

But yesterday I got an award.

Even though I'm coming up on four years in the volunteer fire brigade, they gave me and nineteen other guys a nicely framed certificate for sticking it out for three years. We also got a necktie pin.

Oh, and get this. When you pass the fifteen year mark they give your wife an award. I can't be the only one who sees comedy in that whole set-up. Reiko doesn't wanna have to get up in front of all those people so she said I can quit after fourteen years if I want.

For now I'm happy with my first official recognition from the Mimata Town Hall, and happy to have it as our first real wall decoration.

If Your House Is Gonna Catch On Fire, This Is the Time For It To Happen

2010-01-10T16:12:00.001+09:00

At the end of this morning's Fireman New Year Ceremony, after all the inspections and speeches and awards, Chief Nakamura excused all the guests and had a few words for the 150 Mimata Town volunteer firemen.

He said last year there were only three major fires, so let's try and keep the numbers low again this year by spreading the word about fire safety. He also told us to be careful when we all go partying tonight, because if anyone screws up and drives drunk or something then he's gonna make sure your whole division gets busted.

Not an hour after those words were spoken, as we in the First Division were sitting down at Kouka-hanten for some lunch, the sirens began blaring. Nearby at the Yakiniku House all the higher-ups like the chief and the division leaders were literally holding up beers and getting ready for a Kampai.

So we dropped our chopsticks, grabbed our helmets and coats and ran like hell back to the cars and sped off. Man we were all hungry and surly.

The fire was on the other side of Mimata, in Tadaike, and when we got there it was blazin'. The house was engulfed from the inside but hadn't broken through the roof yet, so it just looked like a big burning pot. Smoke was pouring out all sides and being blown around by the breeze. The whole neighborhood was outside watching, and a few folks were screaming and yelling.

Our division was ordered to open up the fire cistern down the street and get it pumpin', so this time we didn't have to be too close to the burning house.

Here's what it looked like from where I was stationed.

It had died down a bit by this point, and soon after we cleaned up our hoses and headed back to Kouka-hanten for our long-awaited lunch.

I never like it when someone's house burns down, and when we arrive at fires I've learned the hard way to not pay attention to the people whose house it is. That's someone else's job and it makes me have bad dreams.

However, the folks today were lucky in that the entire Mimata Town Fire Brigade was suited up and ready to go; a hundred and fifty guys with freshly cleaned and inspected gear and vehicles. We were even wearing neckties.

From what I could gather it looked liked they were going to be able to recover a lot of things from the house. I've been to fires where there ain't nothin' left but smoldering ash and a few blackened support beams.

It could have been a lot worse.

Happy New Year

2010-01-05T12:15:00.004+09:00

Reiko and I don't really do Christmas decorations. I'd like to, but it ends up being more of a hassle than anything else. I'm sure that will change over time, but for now we keep things very simple around our house.

Plus, Christmas isn't really a thing here. The decorations at the supermarket and at the mall are often breathtaking, and the lights some folks put up on their houses are simply jaw-dropping. In the end, however, December 25th is just another work day and everyone's counting the days until the New Year holidays.

It's the New Year that people here really attune themselves to, and I love it. It's a refreshing and cleansing time around our neighborhood and around this whole country. Everyone spends the last couple of days of the old year cleaning and cooking in preparation to relax and eat and drink some fine brewed beverages during the first few days of the new year.

We received a wonderful New Year wreath made by an acquaintance so I hung it above our front door.

If you're at all familiar with Japanese animated films you will recognize that this wreath has a Totoro theme, which I love. While I'm not a big animation person, I do love Totoro.

The mochi and mandarin orange is standard Japanese New Year decoration no matter where you go, and so it is in our home's entrance hall. You can't NOT put a cockroach magnet out for a week or you're just not a team player.

Reiko accentuated our traditional decoration with a little something she picked up at the store the other day. It's the year of the tiger, after all.

Dragonfly In Winter

2009-12-17T23:04:00.000+09:00

Once a month I do a thirty-minute English "lesson" at this kindergarten over in Takao, on the east side of Miyakonojo. It's only for the five-year-olds and we sing songs and play stuff like Duck Duck Goose and Red Light Green Light and have a great time.

The principal of the kindergarten is this old retired guy who's always either sitting in the office drinking tea or out in the garden planting flowers. I always look for him when I get there and say hi before going up to the second floor for my lesson, and he always gives me a warm greeting and comes and shakes my hand even though I have my hands full with Sesame Street puppets and plastic dinosaurs and fruit flashcards.

So yesterday I had a fantastic thirty minutes with the kids and said goodbye and walked downstairs and said bye to the lunch lady, though I don't even know her and didn't even say hello to her previously, and walked across the lobby to the teacher's room to say goodbye to the principal.

I poked my head in and didn't see anyone, so I just let out a good, "Owarimashita... mata ichi gatsu yoroshiku onegaishimasu!" (I'm done... See you in January!)

Just then an old bald head popped up from behind some files on a desk. It was the principal, and he smiled at me and waved for me to come in.

So I did, and he stood up and was holding some things in his hand I couldn't make out at first.

It turns out he was carving pieces of wood and gluing them together into the shape of insects. He had a glue gun and a pocket knife and everything.

It occurred to me right then, though not for the first time, that being a kindergarten principal is one of the best jobs of all time.

I asked him why he was making these hand-carved wooden insects and he just shrugged and said why not.

I gave him my usual formal salutations and said goodbye and shook his hand and headed for the door to get my shoes and head out, but he stopped me and ran back to his work space.

When he re-emerged he had a hand-carved dragonfly in his hand, and he handed it to me and said it was now mine.

I thanked him many times.

When I got back to my classroom there was really only one thing to do...

Santa's Early Delivery

2009-12-08T22:30:00.001+09:00

Out where I live there isn't exactly a huge market for wine.

I've been enjoying the red wine for about fifteen years, and Reiko is a recent convert.

So I did some Christmas shopping for winter hibernation purposes.

We have a refrigerator in the guest room that we have set on low so that it acts as a perfect wine cabinet, and now it's almost full to capacity.

There's this amazing internet wine shop that I found recently and they had this special on Bordeaux, so I went for it.

Merry Christmas, folks!

My Kinda Fun

2009-12-06T21:37:00.002+09:00

I woke up at six-thirty this morning for my regular volunteer fire brigade meeting down at the firehouse, where we shivered in the morning chill and discussed pressing matters like when the next time we're going to drink beer is going to be... Friday at seven.

We wrapped up around eight and I drove out to the McDonald's on Route 10 for a coffee and a McGriddle. I get one about once a month, always on Sunday mornings after my fire brigade meeting, and drive over to Muta-machi, the boozing and entertainment district, and watch the all-night drunks file out onto the streets.

I park in a central location and eat my McGriddle and sip my coffee with the radio on and watch the drama unfold. Some mornings there's no one around, but this morning there was lots to see. This one group of guys came out of some upstairs bar and two of them just fell down in the street and their friends dragged them into a doorway and left them there.

Some dudes who work at a host bar appeared in the morning light and man those guys all look like they've been shopping at David Bowie's garage sale. It almost works for them at night when it's dark, but at eight in the morning it's like they just stepped off a spaceship from the same planet Elton John came from. I didn't even know you could get velvet lapels with rhinestones anymore.

So I had my fun and steered the boat on home, where I quickly changed clothes and got ready to captain the ship again. Reiko's mom had a wedding party to go to in Miyazaki City, so Reiko and I drove her out there and dropped her off and the two of us went galavanting about town for a few hours.

We hardly ever go into Miyazaki City, but as we were walking around Reiko mentioned we should make some time to have dinner and paint the town over the winter holiday, and I wholeheartedly agreed.

We stopped into the Yamakataya Department Store and I ended up doing some Christmas shopping. Reiko wants two things for Christmas: a steam cooker and champagne. The steam cooker's gotta wait because we have to study up and find a quality one, but in the basement of Yamakataya there's a nice little joint that sells wine and champagne. So I had Reiko pick out what she wanted and got it for her and she's gonna enjoy it on Christmas Eve when we have our little party.

There was a cold wind blowin' in off the Pacific, but we drove down to this lookout point and watched the ocean for a while.

I'm really lookin' forward to my long winter holiday so I can have days like this all the time.

How Much Of Human Life Is Lost In Waiting

2009-12-05T23:54:00.001+09:00

I hate standing in line like anyone else, but sometimes you have to do it.

Standing in line all day makes me nuts. A couple of years ago Reiko and I went to Universal Studios in Osaka and the line just to get into the place took an hour. We rode three rides and had lunch and the waiting in line to enjoyment ratio was at least 50 : 1. That Jurassic Park ride line was literally three hours, and to add insult to injury the vending machines in the line were all double priced. The ride itself was maybe three minutes and features no thrills whatsoever.

Don't even get me started on amusement parks. I have a favorite, and there are generally no lines there and the rides are way better. The thing is it's in a remote part of a remote country. Luckily it's only a two hour drive from my house.

Here in Miyakonojo there are rarely line-ups for anything. The one place you can definitely expect a line, though, is at Sushi Tora, this awesome sushi restaurant off Route 222 in Hayasuzu. They don't take reservations, and even on weeknights the crowd waiting to get in is considerable.

There are other sushi joints in town. This is Japan, of course. The thing is, most of the other places stink. Sushi Madoka is ok. I only go to the 100 yen sushi places if I'm hung over (once a year). The mom-and-pop places run the gamut; Ei-Raku is fantastic though pricey, Kozo-zushi is the McDonald's of raw fish.

So we pulled up to Sushi Tora tonight around 6:20 and Reiko and her mom jumped out of the car and hopped in and came bouncing back out and announced the wait was forty minutes so they turned it down.

Forty minutes.

Like I said, I hate waiting in line. However, I will wait for quality. One time I waited for an hour in line with my old boss' daughter (long story) to get some quality sushi at this place in Tokyo and it was worth it.

The problem with big amusement parks is you just wait in line so you can wait in another line.

Today I hadn't waited in any lines so forty minutes for some of the best sushi in Miyakonojo was fine with me.

However...

Reiko, her mom and Mi-chan are much like my own father: they don't wait in lines.

I've long since quit complaining. That just makes it worse.

My early years were filled with arguments that erupted from waiting in lines, and I long ago learned that my complaints are like spraying WD-40 on a Duraflame.

So we went next door to this place called Nakamura. It's owned and run by the same people who run Sushi Tora, only they offer a wider menu: crab, nabe, beef tataki, oysters. Brilliant, if you ask me. On any given night I'm guessing a large percentage of Nakamura's customers are people who couldn't get into Sushi Tora.

And that was us tonight.

We waited thirty minutes for a table after a ten minute debate.

Thank you beer, for you have saved me.

Tomorrow night Reiko's goin' out with her cousin so I'm headin' out solo to Fuku-chan...

This Might Be One Of My All Time Best Ideas

2009-12-04T23:47:00.018+09:00

This afternoon on my break I was reading the paper and came across a human interest story about "rekijo," a term describing women in Japan who are enthusiastic about history. It's this new and quickly spreading social phenomenon.

Actually, "enthusiastic" is a tame word. Many of these women apparently fit into the same category as anime geeks and comic book nerds. One woman in the story regularly travels long distance to visit cafes and bookstores where they have some guy dress up as an old feudal lord and stay in character all evening while interacting with invited guests.

If you've ever wondered if there are Civil War re-enactor types in other countries, you now have your answer.

God bless 'em for it. There are way worse ways to spend your time while you're ridin' the slow ferry to spinster island, but it got me thinkin'...

And it hit me like a thunderclap.

Most folks outside of Japan have heard of hostess clubs. They're everywhere around these parts and they're quite fun and popular. Many people may not be aware that there are also host clubs, which is basically the same idea except the clientele is women and jerks like these work there.

One of my dreams is to open a bar, and I've had ideas come and go about what sort of a place I wanna open. Whenever I watch Casablanca I get it in my head that I want to wear a white smoking jacket and be the owner of Mik's Cafe Americana right here in Miyakonojo.

Today I realized a new direction. A new dream, freshly sprouted from a seed germinated by pure genius.

I'm going to open a host club.

In my host club, however, the hosts aren't going to be androgynous alcoholics with bad hair. I'm going to hire hosts who dress up and play the parts of famous Japanese feudal lords and other popular historical figures.

We'll have Yukimura Sanada, Masamune Date, Tokugawa Ieyasu. Heck, if women are into it I'll even get a Saigo Takamori, complete with unibrow and surly old fashioned Kagoshima dialect. Bruno informed me today he's got dibs on Francis Xavier.

It would be sort of like Medieval Times meets a host club, only with less camp and in a much smaller venue. The decor would be 17th Century Japan with some stylish modern touches. There wouldn't be a performance per se, but every so often the historical characters could interact for the entertainment of the customers.

No tongue-in-cheek here. This is gonna be a serious night out on the town for the discriminating drinker/historian/cat lady.

I'm even thinking we should have a ninja.

I would, of course, be the master and proprietor. I'd hire all the staff and make sure they looked and dressed the part every night. No getting out of character until you're off the clock.

With this new trend in lonely women history buffs I think this is a goldmine of an idea.

It occurred to me that I would also have to play a part if I'm to manage and direct this little endeavor, and seeing as how I'm not even close to being Japanese I figured out exactly what part I could play.

Commodore Perry.

I could totally pull it off.

Now all I need is a wealthy investor and a trip to bartending school.

As far as names go, I was thinking maybe 明治維新. Meiji Restoration. Or maybe 中世酒場. The Medieval Tavern.

Ending the Week On A High Note

2009-12-04T23:47:00.002+09:00

I've had parents coming to see their kids in my elementary school level English classes this week, and it's something I've come to enjoy and look forward to since the departure of my last supervisor, who always made it into a painful ordeal and forbade me from any sort of interaction with my students' moms and dads.

The English supervisor we have now is a really nice girl with an open mind and an easy disposition, and my blood pressure and the rate of newly sprouting gray hair has decreased significantly.

On Tuesday one father who speaks fantastic English pulled me aside after his daughter's class and showed me a piece of paper with the lyrics to the old Ella Fitzgerald song "Cry Me A River" written on it. He asked me what "cry me a river" means and I tried my best to explain. That guy has caught me off guard like that a few times over the years with questions about highly obscure English.

This evening I had my class of fourth-graders and one of the fathers who attended is an elementary school teacher. He said he really enjoyed the class and actually learned some things by watching me. Starting in 2011 English is going to become a mandatory subject in Japanese elementary schools and many teachers are freaking out because they either can't speak English or don't know how to teach it or both. This guy said he got some good ideas from watching my class today, and I don't think I'm going to get a better compliment than that for a long time.

You Should Seriously Think About Getting Over Here Before December 16th

2009-12-03T23:24:00.030+09:00

I drove Reiko downtown tonight because she was meetin' up with a couple of her girlfriends for some beers and yuks.

She told me about this a few days ago, and when she did I immediately did a computation in my head... Thursday night + no wife x 88 yen beer = Hakkenden.

I'm pretty sure Isaac Newton thought of that first but I'll happily take credit.

So I dropped Reiko off and drove home and put Peko-chan to bed and headed down the street on my bike. From my front door to Hakkenden it's maybe six minutes by bicycle.

When I got there I saw a sad, familiar scene.

No cars in the parking lot.

These folks must not be advertising correctly, because the last time I heard you can't even get a premium can beer at the convenience store for less than 200 yen.

I sat at the far end of the counter and minded my own business for a while and then struck up a conversation with the staff. According to them the lack of customers must be due to the economy.

Four weeks ago I was in a wine bar in Fukuoka that serves way-over-priced glasses of wine and you could barely get in the door.

Sure, this is the country, but what is seriously going on?

Eighty-eight yen beer! And it's real beer! Not that fake beer that people love to buy so much because they're so desperate for a buzz they'll drink anything.

I'm afraid my local Hakkenden is gonna fold. If you're in the area please stop in. I ate a ton of food and drank a lot of beer tonight for less than 20 bucks. Here's a map to the joint.

Call me and I'll join ya! We'll order up some excellent shishamo.

Learning New Things

2009-12-02T23:01:00.000+09:00

Everyday I learn something new. Some days the new things I learn are profound. Other days they are profoundly not.

Today I learned that I should not do the Hokey Pokey with a full bladder.

This evening when I got home from work Reiko was already busy in the kitchen cookin' up another feast. From the stairway as I entered the house I could already smell the fixins: miso soup, lotus root, broccoli and this seaweed and tuna thing she makes that's simply fantastic. Seriously, you gotta come to my house for dinner.

So while I was helping set the table I noticed Reiko had a jar of peanut butter on the kitchen counter. She was spreading it on some bread.

Weird, I thought. Peanut butter and miso aren't usually on the same menu. Maybe she's makin' a snack for later. Reiko loves her snacks. Her segue from mealtime to snack time takes about ten seconds usually.

In the back of my mind I had this feeling of what it could be, but there was no way. It's been years. It's been a lifetime. The thought left my head as soon as it entered. To even entertain the idea that it could happen was a sure way to set myself up for disappointment, like gettin' five out of six numbers in the lottery and thinkin' you have the sixth but it turns out if you'd used your nephew's age instead of his birthday you'd be a millionaire.

Reiko's not big into the kind of affection I grew up with. She gets annoyed if I ask her how her day was. She doesn't need a hug all the time, and often deflects my attempts to give her one (though often unsuccessfully). The words "I love you" are really just words to her and she seems to instinctively know when they're being used disingenuously.

To my wife love and affection are actions, not words.

That peanut butter had a purpose.

I reckon I've mentioned to Reiko my love of peanut butter and banana sandwiches maybe two or three times in the last five years. I grew up eating them and even just thinking of the smell of that beautiful combination makes me feel warm and cozy.

Needless to say, peanut butter and banana is not a sandwich combo you often come across in the Far East.

Tonight Reiko made me a peanut butter and banana sandwich, the first I've had in probably a decade.

Even though tofu and miso soup aren't exactly the best mixers for a sandwich of that magnitude, I devoured every last crumb.

When I was nearly down to the last bite, Reiko asked me if she could have a try, so I tore off a corner for her. She looked like she was about to eat green eggs and ham.

After chewing on it for a minute she said it could use more peanut butter. I agreed.

She's gonna pick up some more bananas on Friday.

All in all I think her first crack at it was pretty good.

Your One Stop Shopping For Jewelry and Roman Candles

2009-12-01T23:56:00.052+09:00

The other day I was driving around and passed a place that I always see, but this time I was stopped at a light and had a chance to actually check out the sign.

It's at the Hiroguchi Intersection of the Route 10 near the Miyakonojo City Hall.

The sign's main title says the name of the shop, "Nichimatsudou".

Under that it details exactly what it is they deal in.

From left to right it reads, "Jewelry, Clocks, Glasses and Fireworks".

Fireworks.

Sometimes people around here ask me if we do fireworks in the States, and I always have to disappoint them with the sad news that the American government has deemed its own people too dumb to be able to handle them so they've been outlawed across most of the country.

In my neighborhood they sell fireworks at the convenience store throughout the warm months of the year, and I regularly pick up a six pack of beer with my bag of fireworks.

As I write this I've got two extra sacks of fireworks we didn't get around to using this summer, so Reiko and I were thinkin' of maybe saving them for New Year's Eve and enjoying them then.

My Slight Obsessive Cumpulsive Behavior

2009-11-30T23:12:00.026+09:00

The flu is hittin' hard around here. Today another one of my elementary school students got it and another nursery school canceled their English lessons due to so many kids being absent with high fevers.

In an average week I easily come into direct contact with over a hundred kids of all ages, from all over the greater Miyakonojo area. I high-five dozens of nose-pickers every day.

In January of this year I caught a flu that knocked me out for a full week. A couple of years ago some kids gave me parotitis, a particularly unenjoyable version of the mumps.

Determined not to get sick this season, I've been religiously taking my vitamin C, eating good food, getting plenty of sleep, washing my hands thoroughly and gargling several times a day and teaching all my younger kindergarten students the joys of covering your mouth when you cough. We've made it into a game.

I've also been abusing the hand sanitizer. At my workplace they've placed alcohol-based hand sanitizing spray by all the entrances for guests to use when they enter. It's supposed to help the kids from getting sick at the hands of adults who might have koodies.

Recently I've been hittin' up the ol' hand spray about five times a day or more, usually after each of my kindergarten classes or when I come back from a morning visit to a nursery school. It's probably obsessive, but hey I haven't gotten sick yet.

Last week my boss got slightly angry with me when I told her I hadn't gotten a flu shot. I've never had a flu shot in my whole life. She said it was bad etiquette not to get one and went on a diatribe about how I have to do it. I'll go if she orders it, of course, but I don't really think it makes much difference.

Last week another teacher who did get a flu shot was out for four days with the flu.

Bringing It All Back Home

2009-11-29T23:22:00.002+09:00

Pullin' into Togo Town in northwest Kagoshima Prefecture brings back a lot of crazy memories.

I guided the ol' Toyota Estima past the Kagoshima Aiport, through Miyanojo Town and veered right with Route 267 as it runs parallel with the Sendai River, past Noze Elementary School, the Ai-Shop, Maehara Danchi and finally into the tiny center of Togo Town, no more than a few dim specks in the black night.

I pulled the door open and creeped in to Shochan Izakaya and was immediately greeted by the familiar faces and warm smiles of some people very dear to me.

I used to be at the counter in this joint about four times a week in the old days. That was back before there was a convenience store in town and Shochan was really the only place for miles to get a bite and a beer after work.

They make the best meat on sticks and kushi-katsu in all of Kyushu.

This guy is the master's son, Shochan, Jr. He used to work in the izakaya and I'd talk with him every evening over beers and yakitori. Now he lives in Sendai and just happened to come by for dinner last night with his wife and daughter.

Here I am with Mrs. Shochan. Back in the old days she used to harp on me about finding a nice girl and settling down. She was sad that Reiko wasn't able to accompany me last night, but I promised her I'd bring her along next time around.

And it wouldn't be a night out in Togo without a ride into Sendai to see the Sakagura master. When I met Yasu eight years ago he was living in his car and trying to get his bar going. Now he runs the newly renovated Sakagura and his very own high class lounge, The E Spot.

That girl with him is Saki-chan, who I've also known for years. She revealed to me last night that she's now 23 years old. I almost fell on the floor realizing that when I first met her when she worked at that lounge Bright she was only 16.

And, sadly, Yasu's longtime bartender, friend and shenanigan partner Daisuke is gone. We used to call him the Japanese Bon Jovi because of his hair. During our long chat that went until sunrise this morning Yasu told me he had to let Daisuke go. When I asked him why he said it was just time... and also that he was a lazy jerk.

Two of my other favorite people in the world, Mr. Uendo and Nabe-chan, weren't able to join us last night, so it looks like I might have another good excuse to visit Togo again in the very near future...

Imagine Working At A Swimming School Where the Owner Can't Swim... Now Try To Have A Discussion About the Back Stroke

2009-11-27T23:51:00.001+09:00

Last weekend I had planned on driving out to Togo Town in the Kagoshima highlands to see some good old friends and enjoy some beers and meat on sticks at my very favorite spot in all of Japan.

But I ended up with a 38.4 degree fever Saturday morning and feared it was the flu. So many of my kindergarten and elementary school students have come down with it this last week. Mercifully it was just a 48-hour cold and I was back on my feet by Monday.

So tomorrow evening I'll be making good on last week's plan. Shochan Izakaya in Togo is pure gold as far as boozing establishments go, and the folks I'm meeting are priceless. The second part of the evening will take me to see Yasu, the infamous master of a place I've been frequenting for about eight years or so, Sakagura.

Fridays being what they are, there are often unexpected twists.

Today it came while I was typing on the computer in the office at work.

My boss came in to make a copy right next to where I was working and after a moment of silence she asked me what I was doing. If she paid any attention to what I do even a fraction of the time she would know what I was doing, but she doesn't... so she she didn't.

I told her I was typing up some students' English speeches, and she seemed pleased by this. Since the only day of the year she verbally acknowledges the English speech festival is on the day it actually happens I'm pretty sure some of what I mistook for "being pleased" was actually "oh, right, er... the speech festival".

So then she asks me where the "Japanese" copy of the speeches are. I told her there wasn't one but that if she wants one I'll translate them for her. She doesn't speak any English and even speeches by second graders where they say things like "I have a big sister" are a mystery to her.

She put down her copying and was incredulous. I sensed this and kept talking, knowing what it was she was about to tell me.

I told her I've been developing the speeches with my students over the last month or so, drawing from the English they know and creating what they want to say using English as the base instead of thinking it up in Japanese and translating it all into English. My view is that if the kids think up their speech in English they will own that speech. They will own their English words because they thought them up themselves. It will be organically grown, so to speak. I, of course, correct any errors along the way and teach them how to say things they aren't sure how to express.

At some point I got cut off. Part of it may have been that I was keeping my head down a lot because I've got a partially grown beard and look like a hobo from certain angles.

My boss told me I have to make the kids write down their speeches in Japanese, then I should translate them into English and they will memorize them. She told me the reason was the kids are Japanese and the only way they can really express their thoughts is in Japanese.

This is what I'm up against.

As usual, I smiled and nodded. Hopefully she won't think about the speech festival again until the day it happens in March.

88 Beers At Hakkenden

2009-11-25T23:53:00.011+09:00

Tonight Reiko and I met up with her mom and aunts Toshie and Junko and her cousin Fumika at Hakkenden, this chain pub down the road from our house.

They just happen to be having an, oh nothing, 88 yen beer special until December 16.

Reiko and me.

Reiko, her mom and me.

Aunts Toshie and Junko took a liking to the i-pod.

Scaring Children: Highly Underrated

2009-11-24T22:44:00.002+09:00

Around Halloween Bruno and I took to scaring the kids at our school whenever we had the chance by hiding behind a counter or something and then jumping out and yelling "Boo!" or "Bwahh!" or whatever.

A few of the more keen kindergarten and elementary school kids decided they would try and do the same to us and the game was on. Everywhere you went you had to always be on the lookout for someone trying to scare you from behind a doorway or around a blind corner. Eyes on the back of your head, man.

Halloween came and went and somehow this game continues.

Man I scared the hell out of a couple of kids today and they screamed like crazy. I know that even as I write this they are planning revenge.

It's anyone's guess how long this is going to go on. I'm hoping that at some point they'll either stop being surprised or just get bored of the whole exercise.

I sure ain't gettin' bored of it yet. As a matter of fact I'm starting to hone my skills at sneaking around and scaring unsuspecting kids. Today I even accidentally startled a junior high school girl who comes for an evening lesson. She got me back later as I was leaving the building. She was hiding behind a bookshelf in the dimly lit lobby and jumped out as I was going for my shoes. Nice move!

I wish I had my camera so I could capture their faces. It's pure comic gold.

So after a hard day of scaring children it's so wonderful to come home and enjoy a delicious dinner with Reiko. Tonight she made one of my favorites: mentaiko pasta. She also whipped up this sausage salad and some garlic pizza bread.

This must be what trolls feel like when they crawl back under their bridge after a hard day.

I Have A Feelin' There's More Where This Came From

2009-11-23T18:22:00.008+09:00

Earlier this afternoon Reiko and I were at the electronics store pickin' up some blank DVDs so she can copy some shows for her cousin Fumika and we were kneelin' down lookin' at the bottom rack of stuff and she asks me, "Did you feel that?"

I says, "No, it was probably just a truck in the parking garage."

Usually it's me that's all high strung and jumpy with these things. Every large vehicle that goes by our house is an earthquake to me.

But...

A little while later we get home and I'm openin' the window to our living room and I see this.

Turns out Reiko's little shaky feeling was Mt. Sakurajima rumbling again.

This has been happening a lot more recently. One day a couple of months ago I was sitting and talking to a student and WHAMMO! The eruption from 60 kilometers away sounded like a helicopter smashed into a truck a block away.

The images are stunning, though.

I wanted to get to a better view but I knew by the time I got in the car and drove to higher ground the scene would be over.

This is the way I saw it from my living room this evening.

Testing Out the Video Machine

2008-11-03T17:30:00.002+09:00

Yesterday Reiko and her mom and Mi-chan and I visited the fine people at the local shochu brewery, Kiri-no-Kura, for their annual Autumn Festival.

They had all sorts of meat on sticks and ramen and crazy rare foods like the Sasebo Burgers and even a gourmet coffee stand.

We headed straight for the fish market and the Kirishima microbrew stand.

I took this chance to test out the new video camera.

Unfortunately I'm not so good with it yet.

I took lots of great footage of some dudes chopping up a giant tuna and some of my nursery school students saying hi to us, but it turns out I got the buttons mixed up and was on "stand-by" when I thought I was filming and vice versa.

After we got home I fiddled about with the new video editing software I got last week and this is what came out...

Lori's Dramatic Exit

2008-10-30T23:43:00.004+09:00

It's been a little over six weeks since Lori quit, and the dust is just now settling around the kindergarten.

Monday, September 1st, she waltzed into the front lobby and, even before taking her shoes off, announced her resignation. I had a little advance notice, but man oh man there was a lot of excrement hitting a lot of air conditioning devices when the word got out around our workplace.

Lots of drama ensued, but in the end Lori got back on the road she needs to be on: dancing professionally. If you hang around Fukuoka for more than a couple a days you're sure to bump into her.

Here's a drawing one of the girls we work with did right before she left. It was meant to be for the nursery school annual album, but now it's probably just going to be a collector's item.

People keep asking me how the new English teacher is working out, and I give cliched answers simply because I don't know how to answer.

Working with Lori was an adventure I'll never forget, and thankfully she's just a text message away when I need a dose of surliness only a New Yorker can offer.

But Bruno is the first non-Japanese guy co-worker I've had in over eight years and it makes going to work a different experience.

Not better. Not worse. Just different.

Folks Never Believe Me When I Tell Them

2008-10-25T23:35:00.013+09:00

You really can see Mount Sakurajima from Mimata Town on a clear day.

And today wasn't even that clear a day, but the view was spectacular. So much so, in fact, that I was compelled to pull over on my way home from my mother-in-law's house to take this photo.

Click on the picture for the big version. Sakurajima is the craggy-looking one over the white car.

Sometimes. Not often, anymore, but sometimes... this thought bubbles to the surface:

"This is something I'm not gonna be able to un-get used to if we ever leave Japan."

Sitting down to bathe.

Bathing, like eating, should be done in a seated position. And, like properly chewing your food, a person's priorities should include proper scrubbing and rinsing. Whether you're filling the tub and tossing some citrus fruit rinds in or just makin' it a shower night, sit down and take a load off and savor the experience.

I've traveled abroad and back to the old country many times in the years since I've been here and, without a doubt, the main thing I love and appreciate about this country when I return is the water supply and the culture of its use.

Folks here never believe me when I tell them a long shower in LA is grounds for being arrested.

Long walks around town aside, it's in the bath when I have those thoughts I really wanna write down.

Tonight, again, I started thinkin' of all these things I wanted to say while I was in the middle of scrubbing behind my ears.

So I hurried up and turned the water off and grabbed my towel and I noticed Reiko and I have an odd assortment of towels. Some are her mom's and we somehow ended up with them. More than a couple are from hotels. The one I used tonight is actually from a love hotel (hey, they're cheap and spacious and always have cable) in Kumamoto we stayed at near Mount Aso years ago because all the rooms at the "regular" hotel were booked up.

Don't even get me started on hand towels. One has a propane company's phone number on it.

Reiko and Her Mom

2008-10-25T11:20:00.003+09:00

Today while I did my English lessons for the neighborhood kids in the living room Reiko and her mom ate lunch in her mom's room.

Gettin' Ready To Roll Out the Red Carpet

2008-10-23T23:42:00.004+09:00

In fifty-three days Reiko will be in the "red zone," within two weeks of her due date. For me, that means I'm on call 24 hours a day, which basically boils down to: lay off the Asahi Super Dry and don't wander too far from the house.

I'm hopin' for a slightly early birth myself. Reiko is, too. We're both goin' crazy with anticipation to meet our daughter.

Turns out, though, that half of all babies are born in the two weeks after the official due date, so I'm guessin' this is gonna be some New Year.

In preparation I bought a video camera last week. There's an incredibly boring seven-minute trial run of it here. Compared to the video cameras I remember growing up it's rather easy to use, and it has some fancy features like a touch screen and it even takes nice photographs.

So that's another check in the ol' "To Do" list before Reiko goes into labor.

Reiko and I sit at the kitchen table almost every night talking about the things we need to do before this event takes place, but eventually we always start into what sort of person she's going to be and what color her eyes might be and walking to the park on Sundays and trips to the zoo and to America.

I wonder every day what kind of world she's going to grow up in, and what the future holds for all of us.

For the time being I'm just happy to be right here at home in Mimata, takin' care of my wife and tryin' to keep out of trouble.

Have You Ever Noticed That Anyone Driving Slower Than You Is an Idiot, and Anyone Going Faster Than You Is a Maniac?

2008-09-09T22:24:00.019+09:00

Folks have commented to me recently that I never answer my phone. I've been hearing that for a long time, actually. Years.

And while I in no way feel the need to answer such a statement with any sort of excuse or doctor's note, it is part of my persona and after perusing a few of the photos saved on the ol' digital camera from the past few weeks it crossed my mind that the reason I answer my phone a fraction of the times it rings is because I'm busy enjoying my life.

Well, that, and most times I just don't want to talk to you.

Once in a while I'll ring someone up and I get this: "Dude, I sooooo can't talk right now. Gotta go, bye!"

Why in great Zeus' name did you answer your phone then?!

So other than on those evenings when I'm out in front of the house in my lawn chair with a beer and the sunset, here's why I don't answer my phone...

Reiko turned twenty-nine last week so we spent a beautiful day taking the slow road down into Kagoshima City for lunch at that sushi place at the Dolphin Port. With me in the captain's seat we headed south from Miyakonojo, through Fukuyama Town, sneaking in behind Mt. Sakurajima and rode the ferry across the bay into the city.

Here are Mi-chan and I enjoying the humid breeze from some prime seats on the outdoor deck.

Reiko and her mom were already gettin' hungry by this point so they were yellin' at the ferry guys to hurry up and get the boat sailin'.

I like these seats because you have a prime view of the last cars bein' loaded on and the drawbridge being lifted.

Reiko's doin' her pregnant lady belly rub.

Along the way we stopped at a market to pick up some fish (of course... what else?) and they had this foot bath there, so we took a long coffee break and soaked a bit while enjoying the view of Kagoshima Bay.

Here's Reiko's mom spashing about in the hot water.

I love it when you see truckers at these places. You know they're lovin' life after haulin' eighteen wheels all the way down from Kitakyushu on the Route 10.

The sushi joint in Kagoshima was a little crowded. We managed to get there right at the lunch rush after spending too much time at the foot hot spring, but Reiko said it was worth the wait so we stuck it out for about thirty minutes and got a prime seat right by where the sushi comes out of the kitchen on the conveyor belt so we could grab the good stuff the moment it came out.

I took this picture on my cell phone from our table. It's a little hard to see, but that's a fish inside a tank that's situated right across the conveyor belt from where I was sitting. That fish has to spend his last days lookin' out the window at a sushi parade, like a cow who has to spend his last night at a Black Angus.

When I mentioned this fact to everyone at the table Reiko gave me her usual look, the one that says, "Just be quiet and eat your food."

This past Sunday we went and saw cousin Yuko's little boy's nursery school sports festval and afterward we drove up to the garden in the hills where Reiko's mom grows vegetables with her friends. Most of the greens I eat these days come from that field. We gathered up some eggplants and took them home for dinner. Tomio-san, a family friend, showed up for some potatoes to throw in his evening meal.

Cool mountain water was rushing down along the side of the road so Reiko decided to take her shoes off and put her feet in and relax a while. In the end we all did. Even Lili got her feet wet.

At one point this dude we know drove by in his pick-up and saw Reiko, her mom and I sittin' on the side of the road with our feet in the water and was laughin' hard when he got out to talk and scratchin' his head wonderin' what the heck we were doin'.

No One Needs a Vacation More Than the Person Who Just Had One

2008-08-19T20:13:00.005+09:00

Last year when my summer holiday was over I was mostly looking forward to going back to work, mainly because it meant I was finally gonna get some peace and quiet.

And that's even after remembering what I do for a living.

This year, though, I spent my two weeks riding my bike around town, trying out new coffee shops with Reiko, enjoying long brunches at home, taking quiet naps by the fan, enjoying an afternoon beer or two on my front porch and going to summer festivals.

Going back to work wasn't really the problem. The physical act of moving by body to the kindergarten is simple. Getting my mind to accept that work even existed was the hard part.

Here are Reiko and I on the last day of my vacation Sunday. We drove down to the coastal town of Nichinan with her mom and Mi-chan and had a beautiful lunch at Bibinya, this little restaurant right on the Aburatsu Port.

The place specializes in fish but Michiko-san and I opted for the steak.

Reiko doesn't really go for the maguro, and being pregnant doesn't exactly make her excited about raw fish of any kind anyway, so I made off with her side dish of sashimi.

As a special treat we all ordered miso soup with a big spiny lobster in it. That's one of the Nichinan Coastline specialties, and Reiko is always talkin' about drivin' out there to get some. It's expensive, though, so she tends to put it off until Mi-chan decides to treat us.

Bolt of Lightning

2008-08-19T19:36:00.006+09:00

Saturday afternoon a crazy storm whipped through the Miyakonojo area, bringing an amazing lightning show along with it.

I had just gotten home from a relaxing bicycle ride when it started, and when I noticed the lightning was getting closer I got out the ol' camera to see if I could catch some from out my window.

Look for it around the 00:35 mark...

Best Of

2008-08-15T15:54:00.002+09:00

My two-week summer holiday is nearing an end, so I figured I oughtta do at least one of those things I always say I'm gonna do during my time off instead of getting distracted by a sunny day.

Today I beat the heat by sitting near the air conditioner and scanning some photos of some of my favorite moments of my first few years in Japan, back when I took all my pictures on a disposable camera and just kinda walked whichever way the wind was blowing...

Create Your Own

If There's a Raffle, I'm There

2008-07-28T23:36:00.003+09:00

Late last week our neighborhood news bulletin came round to our house and inside was a notice about the summer festival to be held at the community center on Saturday evening, and there was even a raffle ticket included with my name already handwritten on it.

So, not one to ever pass up a raffle and some food and grog with the neighbors I buzzed on down to the Nishi Ueki Community Center to see what I could see.

And when I got there, it wasn't much.

A couple of old guys I often see around gave me some watermelon and chatted a bit about topics as stimulating as whether or not I could use chopsticks, so I wandered about and made sure my raffle ticket was properly deposited in the correct box and then I was just milling around when the guy who lives a few doors down from Reiko and I came up to me and hesitatingly asked, "Fejer-san?"

Now folks, I'm the only non-Japanese person in the neighborhood and the only one at the festival and if anyone's not gonna be named Nakamura it's me. But keeping my sarcasm in check I said, "Why, yes! That's me! What can I do ya for?"

So he motions for me to follow him inside the community center where a throng of Nishi Ueki's most elderly and/or intoxicated and are enjoying this little scene.

I was introduced to some of the neighborhood's most flamboyant personalities and they fed me rice balls and fried octopus and low-malt beer and they all just laughed every time asked when the raffle started.

Well, it turns out I got the last laugh because it wasn't long before they called my name and I won a big gift box of Asahi Super Dry!

Lucky thing I got called when I did because the prize right after that was a case of Kleenex.

Sorry!

2008-07-28T22:50:00.005+09:00

Last week my mom sent me a box of goodies for my birthday and among the treats inside was this new version of the old board game Sorry called Sorry Express.

Except for the fact that the end goal, getting all four of your colored pawns to the home space, is the same the entire game is completely different and goes a whole lot faster, which is perfect for these kids. They loved it...

As a matter of fact, they loved it so much that they could easily overplay it in one sitting and get bored of the whole thing. So, remembering the simple economic rules of supply and demand, we cut off the supply. We'll play it again in a few weeks.

Next Lori taught them a drinking game she learned in a bar last night.

Of All the Things I've Lost, I Miss My Mind the Most

2008-07-17T22:27:00.004+09:00

Sunday evening, to celebrate losing the fireman's competition, I and the rest of the Mimata Town Fire Department, First Division, headed up to this little barbecue place in the hills above Mimata called Aoba. The Blue Leaf.

Except for the fact there's a pretty decently placed sign down on the main road you'd swear you were going the wrong way before you finally hit this place. And when you do finally get there you'd think you just stumbled across a huge moonshine operation, complete with a surly junkyard dog who wanders around sniffing guests.

A few guys from the Mimata City Council showed up to eat and booze with us as well, one of whom was this old guy I met at some other shindig a while back, Wada-san. He's a nice enough guy, and man he's got some stories about the years he spent living in China. At one point, however, he realized my boss's husband is an old friend of his so he demanded I call her and ask for him.

I told him I didn't think that was such a good idea, so he insisted I give him her cell phone number. What possessed me to give a drunk old guy my boss's personal cell phone number is beyond me, and even though I could only hear one side of the conversation I could tell it wasn't exactly, "Hey! Long time no see! How the heck have you been?" coming through the other end of the line.

All's well that end's well, though, and the next morning I drove into Miyazaki City with Reiko and her mom to visit that cross-eyed jerk at the immigration office to renew my visa.

Ever since switching to the "spouse visa" I have to renew it every year until they deem me worthy enough of a longer stay.

There's a space on the application form where you have to put down how long a visa you want, and I always leave it blank because they're just gonna fill in what they want regardless of my wishes anyway.

This time, though, that lazy-eyed moron saw I left the spot blank and asked me to fill it in. I asked him what I should write. He said write how long a visa I want. I told him I want the visa that requires me to never have to come back and renew it.

And that's the way that one went.

My visa is being processed as we speak. If I'm lucky I'll get three years. In reality they'll probably just slap another one-year on my passport and tell me to come back and give them more of my time and money again next summer.

They can't deport me. Beer stocks will tumble.

Afterward we went next door and browsed a little in the Miyazaki Airport. Reiko's mom only came along to have some mango ice cream at the airport cafe anyway, so I had some with her.

Check out these mangoes, folks. Two for 160 bucks. I wanted to ask the clerk if there was a 14 carat gold seed in the middle but Reiko grabbed my arm and hauled me outta there before that little Q & A could happen.

Yesterday was bento day at the kindergarten, and now that Reiko's gettin' her strength back after being under doctor's orders to stay put for the last ten weeks she's exercising her culinary strengths by whippin' up stuff like this.

She may be surly, but you can see why I don't mind.

One Quarter of My Life

2008-07-16T23:17:00.003+09:00

Today was particularly hot and humid, and I had the stink to prove it.

When I got off at seven I rode my bike home and Reiko was just putting the finishing touches on a midsummer night's supper... stewed chicken, potatoes and tofu, pasta salad, rice and a little stir-fried vegetable thing made from stuff in her mom's garden.

After dinner I finally got around to cleaning the electric fan and correctly positioning it so it creates maximum draft.

Then I took the ol' lawn chair outside and cracked open a tall can of Asahi Super Dry and stared out at the night sky over Miyakonojo while Reiko took a bath.

Eight years ago tonight I arrived in Japan.

Miller Time

2008-07-13T15:35:00.004+09:00

Reiko is almost as objectionable to taking pictures as she is to being in them, but today she went all out and took a video.

She and her mom and even Lili the loud miniature dachshund came out to see me in the bi-annual Mimata Town Volunteer Fire Department Operations Competition. We've been practicing hard since June first and even though our division didn't win nobody minded because that means we can stop practicing. Two years ago one of our teams made it into the county competition and we had to keep on practicing until August.

This is classic Reiko cinematography.

I'm the big white jerk with the orange number "1" on. At the beginning, in the foreground, the guy with the bald spot sitting there trying to look like he's doing something is Mayor Kuwahata. He's the honorary chairman of the event.

Right away you'll get a glimpse of me running and connecting hoses and yelling stuff. Apparently it was 90 degrees Fahrenheit out there with about 55% humidity. It felt worse.

To top it off we were the very first group to go today so everyone watched.

You'll hear Reiko and some other surrounding folks narrate a little as well.

So Much for My Career as a Cowboy

2008-06-20T23:13:00.008+09:00

Wednesday night during practice I was takin' a break from running around and connecting hoses to have a cup of iced green tea and wipe the sweat off my face when one of the guys comes up to me and starts chattin'.

This dude's daughter happens to be in one of my kindergarten English classes and he had a question about her "homework".

All the kids get this picture book and a CD which is full of stories and songs and they're supposed to listen to it a certain number of times during the week and then have their parents sign their little homework sheet so they can get a shiny sticker and a high-five from me.

So he comes up and asks me what "jerry" means.

At first I thought he was asking me about Tom and Jerry, which is very popular here among the kindergarten crowd.

But, alas no, it wasn't Tom and Jerry. That would've been too easy.

After a minute or so of tryin' to figure out what in God's name he was carryin' on about he starts singin' one of the songs off the children's CD. Right there out in the field next to the fire truck and a dozen surly firemen smokin' cigarettes and rolling hoses.

Pea-nut, peanut butter! Jerry!
Pea-nut, peanut butter! Jerry!

It's the Peanut Butter song he's singin'. Apparently he's just a little too into his daughter's English homework.

The song is about making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Those crazy Ls and Rs! Getcha every time!

First you take some peanuts and you crush crush crush.
Then you take some grapes and you mush mush mush.
Then you take them both and you spread spread spread...

...and so on and so forth.

I politely corrected his mispronunciation and explained what jelly is and we both shared one of those uncomfortable half-chuckles as I downed the last of my tea and shook out my cup and made for the nearest exit.

In my line of work...

... I get so few chances to do manly things.

When I'm out training how to fight fires the last thing I wanna hear is the Peanut Butter song.

It Ain't The Heat, It's The Humility

2008-06-18T23:26:00.004+09:00

Reiko's very surly tonight, but that didn't stop her from whippin' up a delicious batch of curry udon and some pot sticker soup with somen noodles and cabbage from the garden.

At this point it's not morning sickness anymore, just that it's currently at ninety-four percent humidity and 23 degrees Celsius outside. And the clock says it's about midnight.

Which made for a sweaty fire fighting practice tonight.

Just about all the guys come directly from work, and since we usually go until after 9:00 PM we take turns being in charge of the iced tea cooler. There's also a huge bag of fish sausages that we chow down on during breaks, but for some reason no one was going for them tonight. Nothin' like a sultry night to kill your taste for pink, fishy-smelling sausages.

I got a few more things down tonight, like unrolling hoses properly. At one point, however, I unrolled one and sent it careening straight into another hose and caused some mild havoc. It's not supposed to do that.

Also, after unrolling a fire hose you're supposed to grab the end and run with it and connect it to the next hose. The trick is doing that without looking back to make sure you've gone far enough. You're supposed to do it fast and efficiently and looking back slows things down, so you just have to know how far to run. If you don't go far enough the hose will be too loose, but if you run too far, as I did tonight (again!), the hose will snap back and out of your hand in a manner not unlike a cartoon fireman or a keystone cop.

I can only imagine the entertainment I provide for some of the guys in the First Division.

Somewhere in the middle of all this I started to feel something weird on my back, like I was getting really bad acupuncture.

Turns out some bug got in my shirt and bit me up like crazy. One of the guys told me to take it off so I peeled the sweat-soaked thing off and shook it out but I didn't see what had been in there.

After I got home I asked Reiko to look at my back and she gasped at all the bite marks. Then she plugged her nose and announced I was really stinky.

The Eighth-Longest Day of the Year

2008-06-17T22:29:00.006+09:00

Fire fighting practice occupies my Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings right now. In a couple more weeks it'll step up to every night of the week in preparation for the big showdown on July thirteenth.

I have a slightly different job than in the competition two years ago. Last time I was in the number three position on the fire truck operations team, which meant I was the pump operator. This time I'm the number one guy on the second division small pump operations team. I run and connect hoses and then take the front position, shooting water on the "fire".

Needless to say, I need a lot of practice. Up to now I mostly have down what I have to. It's the how to do it all properly that's gonna need work.

Mr. Kokubu, the chief of our unit, seems to have confidence, though once in a while I can catch him rolling his eyes at what I'm doing out there.

The great thing, however, is the place where we practice.

There's this field out behind the Hayama Shrine, along the Oyodo River, where the sunset is heavenly and the smell of the mountains washes down over us as we run around out there yelling, "Yosh!" and, "Housui hajime!" all evening long.

Last Friday evening I arrived at practice about six thirty and got some good training in, but somewhere after seven forty-five there was an announcement of some sort on the town loudspeaker system and even though I couldn't hear all of what was being said I knew it was big because our practice came to a quick and sudden end and we loaded all the gear up on the fire truck and headed back to the fire house.

Some little eighty-five year old lady with a slight case senility had been missing since that morning. Apparently she goes out on her own every day to do her stuff: going to the senior center, visiting friends and picking vegetables. So it wasn't until late in the day when her family noticed she hadn't come home.

The whole Mimata Town Fire Department as well as a team of cops from Miyakonojo and a slew of other folks all fanned out to search for her.

By nine-thirty Friday night there was no trace, and since searching this town in the blackness of the country night is next to impossible, we were summoned back early the next morning to continue the search.

I headed up into the forest with Mr. Kokubu, and we scoured our assigned path and talked to some folks who live out that way until the foliage got too thick and we could go no further. All we ended up finding was a bunch of little crabs and this long blue worm.

Thirty-two hours after going missing, a fireman found the old lady late Saturday afternoon in a densely vegetated area near the river, alive and well but hungry and tired. Just in time, too, because torrential rains started up right after that.

Apparently she got it in her head to go and pick some bamboo shoots and got disoriented and lost her way.

It's nice to know that if you ever get lost around here there are people on hand who's job it is to find you.

And rest assured, they will find you.

Yes,That's My Real Laugh

2008-06-01T15:24:00.003+09:00

After spending the morning with my fire department unit preparing our practice area down by the river near Hayama Shrine I stopped off at Reiko's mom's house to see how Reiko was feeling. She's been hangin' out over there a lot this week helping her mom in the garden and the kitchen, and trying to keep the morning sickness in check.

It's a noteworthy observation that she's just about quit wearing shoes altogether, except when she goes to the doctor. I have a barefoot and pregnant wife!

So after that I was driving home and figured I'd pull out the ol' camera and show y'all out there in TV Land what's goin' on over here...

The thing is, I talk to myself while driving even when there's no camera on.

Heck, I even talk to myself while walking.

One night a couple of months ago I was walking home from work at dusk and I passed near Gyusho, the barbecue place that Reiko was working at. One of her co-workers, this girl Ai-chan, was walking toward me but I didn't notice her until she was just a few meters away because I was deep in conversation with myself. This, of course, startled poor Ai-chan, so when I finally saw her I tried to be as cool as possible because I'd just gotten caught babbling like a deranged escapee and tried to say hello but she gave me a face like she'd just seen Ken Watanabe in a loincloth and a sombrero and ran off down the road to the restaurant.

Soon afterward I got a phone call from Reiko.

The Last Lazy Sunday

2008-05-25T16:12:00.002+09:00

The rain stopped early this morning, but it'll be back.

In its place is one heck of a warm Sunday afternoon, previewing the humidity of the summer to come.

So after washing and hanging the summer bedsheets I hopped on my bike and rode over to Yuuzan, this quiet little out-of-the way coffee shop in Hirohara-cho, behind the Sankyu grocery store.

The master is kinda snooty, but he deserves to be, and I like it because he leaves you alone. He dresses like a Victorian Age butler and raises a thick eyebrow every time a customer walks in. When I just wanna read the paper and be anonymous there's no better place to buzz into.

You definitely pay for the luxury, though. This little roast beef panini thing runs you seven hundred twenty yen, while the iced banana mocha is six fifty. Make no mistake, it's the best tasting stuff in town, but stop by the ATM first if you're bringin' a date.

I love it that it's on my way home from work. On cold winter days the master serves up the best Irish coffee this side of Mt. Fuji.

My day isn't over yet, though. Reiko and I are going out for a little dinner together tonight. Her morning sickness is showing signs of subsiding and she's desperate to get out of the house now that the doctor told her that she and the baby are doing fine.

Next week practice begins for the Mimata Town Fire Brigade Bi-Annual Operations Tournament (that's the best translation I could think of for what this thing is) and there ain't gonna be a chance to sit and read the paper at a coffee shop on a Sunday afternoon until August.

Patience Is Paramount

2008-05-17T21:19:00.003+09:00

Yesterday I started teaching this class how to play a new game. They're learning the names of the colors...

The game is basically a process-of-elimination thing where the kids try to figure out which color they're holding.

Watch for the kid who thinks he's sly and decides to look at his card after I explained pretty clearly what is and isn't allowed.

Dang It If My Neck Ain't All Sunburned Now

2008-04-29T16:51:00.008+09:00

Mid-week holidays are so tempting. Last night I had that itch to go out to an izakaya and eat some meat on sticks and drink some beer knowing full well I wouldn't be home at a decent hour.

But mid-week holidays, like today's Green Day, have the power to make you feel like a complete schlub.

If I had gone out last night and gotten into the usual trouble I get into then this beautiful Tuesday would have been a complete waste and I wouldn't have been able to show you the wonderful pictures I took...

Over the course of five hours I walked from my house to Kamiyone Park, then up to Nagata Gorge and back down and around the long way through town and then through some fields and eventually back home.

I met some youngsters who were jumping off that bridge into the river at Yagafuchi Park. Man that looks dangerously fun.

Disposition

2008-04-23T09:04:00.003+09:00

When he showed up wearing this shirt again yesterday I laughed even harder than last week.

I have a new student on Tuesday afternoons who comes for a half hour private English lesson.

He's five.

And his mom buys him the coolest clothes.

Welcome To Our House... With Your Host, Mr. Rogers

2008-03-01T17:33:00.002+09:00

It would seem that all the time I spend with small children has done something to my default narration voice.

There goes my career in radio.

I just finished doing some straightening up around the ol' homestead and since Reiko's out shopping I figured it was the perfect time to give you a tour of our place.

Mushroom 1968 Day

2008-02-28T22:51:00.004+09:00

The same girl who told me I suck last week always wears the greatest shirts.

Here's the one she wore the other day.

The bottom part is the best.

"The front is in the place where it proceeded from this place very much. I live because I like this."

Knock-Knock

2008-02-22T23:16:00.007+09:00

I have this one kind of special class of elementary school kids ranging in age from seven to ten.

It's supposed to be an English immersion-style class where we do various free-form activities with the goal being "using" English as opposed to "teaching" it. At least that's the way I approach it since the school gives me no direction whatsoever, so I've made it what I want it to be. When the person who runs the place speaks no English and never comes to watch the actual classes or shows any interest in them besides commenting on what I wear and how much money we're bringing in I just take it as a sign that I'm on my own.

And I take great pride in that.

We do have this great big box of word and picture flashcards so we look at those every day. Verbs, adjectives, nouns, random phrases. We rotate the flashcards every few weeks so the kids can soak in as much English vocabulary as possible.

Some of our recent words include "bottle opener," "Really?" "Not yet," "expensive," "cheap," "bitter," "sweet," "sour," "dangerous" and so on and so forth.

To say that the six kids who take this class regularly are rambunctious would be an understatement, but they have an energy that's geared toward English and show a keen interest in using the language and aren't afraid to test it out even if their usage is completely wrong. That, plus the fact that they actually understand what they're saying, even if it makes no sense, sets them apart from your average Japanese kid.

And I love them for it.

Especially on days like today.

Recently they've taken to calling me "bitter." Mind you, they only know the word "bitter" as meaning the opposite of "sweet," as in, "This fruit is bitter."

The other meaning, the one you use to describe a person who's completely burnt out and had it, is beyond their comprehension right now. But they still find it funny. My facial expressions when they say it might fuel them, too.

They call my co-worker Lori "cheap," trying to be funny and as insulting as a third-grader can get away with when using a foreign language, without ever realizing the implications of what they're really saying.

I figure I'll explain it all to them in due time. Right now I'm just glad they're excited about using the language and thinking about what they're saying.

And so it was today that, in a broad stroke of genius, I introduced the "Knock Knock" joke to them.

They'd been working on some brain teaser puzzles with Lori and seemed a little burned out (bitter, maybe) so I decided to lighten the atmosphere and try something completely out of left field.

This one kid, Masakazu, took the bait. He's in the first grade and speaks better English than most adults around here. Granted, he often gets so excited that he literally falls out of his chair, but he has an infectious enthusiasm for everything that you can't help but laugh with him.

We used the door to the classroom the first time just to get the point across and make it more fun.

"Knock knock," says I, from outside the door, actually knocking on the door for good measure.

Coached by Lori he says, "Who is it?"

"Orange," I replied.

"Orange who?" he asks.

"Orange juice!"

Masakazu laughed wildly as I thought he would. The others kinda groaned and rolled their eyes.

After a few more tries with similarly stupid jokes Masakazu got up the nerve to be the joke teller. So he does this one...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mi!
Mi who?
Miklos!

I was just so pleased by his ingenuity and the fact that he was rolling on the floor laughing that I started to howl like a hyena myself.

Then, with a little help, he did this one...

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Toe!
Toe who?
Tofu!

Wild laughter ensued.

At that, the rest of the class perked up and became more interested. Sometimes it takes a little bit to get them warmed up. And who doesn't love tofu?

So then Mami, a second-grader, raises her hand and wants to try.

"Knock knock," she says with a totally serious face as the rest of class quieted down to listen.

"Who is it?" I ask, reflecting on how far this class has come that they're now willing to follow me with this little whimsy.

"You," she says flatly.

"You who?" I ask.

"You suck."

She has no idea what "suck" means beyond what a vacuum cleaner does, and yet she has a command of this language that defies the imagination.

What's In the Cart?

2008-02-21T23:15:00.003+09:00

In case there was any confusion, this is what I do for a living.

These are the kids in one of my two classes of four-year-olds. Yes, I've been working here longer than they've been alive. Best get used to it.

When I was visiting Kagoshima back in January I went to a snack/hostess-type bar with my old boss and this girl who used to be in one of my junior high school classes back in the old days was working there.

It makes me wonder where I'll bump into these kids when I'm fifty.

Today, anyway, we were singing a song called "What's In the Cart?" You may recognize the tune. I think they stole it from "Farmer In the Dell."

The kids love it.

So do I.

Chef d'oeuvre... Excuse My French

2008-02-20T22:26:00.004+09:00

Every Wednesday at the kindergarten is bento day, and all the kids look forward to it.

I look forward to it, too. It's not that the food the two lunch ladies make every other day of the week isn't good. They make one heck of a meal. But nothin' beats my home-made lunch box from Reiko.

Recently she's gotten back into makin' me lunch on Wednesday mornings and I'm lovin' it.

For long stretches at a time she sends me off to work with a thousand yen bill and a hearty "Eat something good!" I've hit up that Chinese buffet down the road a few too many times. Other times I take my book or newspaper to that coffee shop a few blocks away called Ryo, run conspicuously by these two older men in blue aprons. They make a fantstic beef curry.

Today, however, I stayed put in my classroom, opened the paper and set about unveiling Reiko's latest work of art.

She claims it's nothing. The meat came from the barbecue restaurant she works at. Grandma made the fried vegetables. The rice cooker did its job. The only thing she says she did was boil the chicken and carrots.

But I mean look at this. I wouldn't know how to put this kind of thing together if all the fixins and an instruction manual were laid in front of me.

Next Monday is a special day at the kindergarten so there's no school lunch.

I just now informed Reiko. She's got her glasses on and is workin' on a crossword puzzle, but she confirmed another bento lunch will be ready to go when I leave for work Monday morning...

A Monday to look forward to, indeed.

And While I'm Thinkin' About It...

2008-02-19T22:53:00.006+09:00

What's the deal with expiration dates in this country?

When I was growin' up, far as I can remember, the date on food was the "sell by" date. So if you ate those eggs on April 28th and the date on the box said April 26th you're probably gonna be just fine.

Of course, you gotta use your brain too, folks.

I recently bought a thing of eggs here that were nowhere near expiring but after cracking one open to make an omelet this smell of godless rancor slapped me across the face and I tossed the dern thing out straight off.

Nature has a pretty good system of letting you know when you shouldn't eat something, even if Procter and Gamble say otherwise.

Many Japanese folks, and they seem perfectly willing to back up what I'm about to say, are completely nuts when it comes to expiration dates. They seem to see that date as some sort of culinary apocalypse and if you have it in your fridge or pantry even within days of the printed date you risk having the Satanic Chef Boyardee come and vaporize you for non-conformity.

Don't even get me started on the amount of perfectly good food I see wasted when folks are sure it's gonna give them massive food poisoning because it's gone bad when it really hasn't.

What ever happened to "sense of smell" or "checking for mold"? Am I crazy here?

Thank goodness Reiko's not like that. She's got a brain and she uses it. If it doesn't smell like it's gonna kill you, throw it on the frying pan. If it's got furry green spots on it just toss it on out.

Last week, however, I was at her mom's house by myself waitin' for a guest and I reached into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of milk, opened it and chugged it in one gulp. Once in a while a cold bottle of milk is quite refreshing, and good for those bones to boot.

It tasted fine and I didn't notice any particular smell... but when I went to rinse out the bottle and saw the date it said January 20.

Later I asked Reiko and her mom why there was such an old bottle of milk in the fridge and they said they forgot about it and asked me if I tossed it out and I told them yeah I sure did but I tossed it back into the ol' gullet.

Their reaction was both shock and laughter and I laughed too because I thought it was amusing but then they suddenly turned serious and looked me over and asked if I was ok and I said I was fine. My body has gotten used to things like that over the years.

Man, you shoulda seen the look on my supervisor's face when I told her at work the next day. She's one of those types who will throw out cookies if they're too close to expiring.

She turned a little pale and looked like she might need some Alka Seltzer.

It's Been A Week Already

2008-02-19T22:18:00.004+09:00

Reiko and I are just about calmed down from last week's fire. She went out and reviewed our insurance this weekend and I'm gettin' a good fire extinguisher before the end of the month.

In the absence of photos of the actual blaze, here's a little diagram of where things happened.

The car with the yellow circle around it is mine, and at the time of the event it was parked right where it is in this photo.

The red circle is our bedroom window. At the time of the fire there wasn't any laundry hanging out so when I sat up in bed I had a clear view of the whole thing.

The blue circle is our front door, where I shot out from in my helmet and pajamas at 5:45 in the morning only to see I was the only fireman on the scene and a bunch of neighbors were staring at me like they were expecting ammonium phosphate to shoot out my fingers.

Here's the view looking out our balcony from the bedroom.

The little building there with the blue roof is a massage and acupuncture doctor. That guy sure lucked out. His place didn't even have a scratch.

If the drapes had been closed there's a better than average chance Reiko and I both would have slept through the whole thing. That, or the fire department would've knocked on our door to tell me to keep it down because my snoring was making it hard for them to concentrate on their work.

Tuesday Morning Conflagration

2008-02-14T22:55:00.007+09:00

Unless it's to be somewhere, I never get up in the middle of the night. Reiko even commented the other evening that I must have a pretty strong bladder because I don't even get up to go to the bathroom.

So it felt strange to me when I found myself in the kitchen at five in the morning sipping tea. This sudden neckache had awoken me and after tossing and turning for a while I couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up and found the pain medicine and washed it down with some iced green tea and crawled back into bed.

That neckache must've been pretty strong because the medicine sure took its time gettin' to work. Or so I thought. Forty minutes later my eyes opened again, but my neck felt fine and I stared up at the ceiling and wondered for a second why I was awake again.

Then this dream took over.

I heard this loud cracking noise, like a huge campfire, and a swooshing like fifty kites coming straight at me. I turned over on my right side and saw it.

Recently we've been leaving the curtains open at night since we're on the second floor and the morning light doesn't come directly in on us like it did in the old house.

It was still night outside, but what I saw piercing it was like something out of an amusement park stunt show. A fire, flames licking the sky well up and above the power lines, was right there in front of me, not twenty meters from where Reiko and I lay in bed.

In that split second between realizing it wasn't a dream and confirming this was real, my mind shut down all unnecessary working parts like a union break time.

I literally shot up and yelled, "Oh my God!" very, very loudly many, many times and then, while scrambling around for my socks and staring out the window at the inferno I just kept yelling for Reiko until she finally awoke and before she could complain about my screaming she saw it too and screamed even louder than me and ran after me as I raced into the living room for my jacket and, still in my pajamas, darted down the stairs and strapped on my fireman helmet and boots and three seconds later I was outside looking at it from the sidewalk along with a dozen or so of my neighbors.

The town siren had just started to sound and I could hear firetrucks on the way.

There I was. A lone fire brigade member, suited up and ready for action. And there was nothing I could do but stare at this burning house and restaurant.

Just then Matsuyama-san, another member of my fire brigade division who lives right around the corner, ran up in his pajamas and helmet and boots. And when he saw it was just me there he stopped and stared too. He asked me if he should go and get the fire truck and I told him they're probably on their way so we should just stay put.

Then he pointed to this silver van right next to the fire and shouted, "Who's car is that? Someone should get that thing away before the wind blows flames on it!"

That's when I snapped back into reality and realized that was my car. Reiko threw me the keys and I ran right up next to the burning house and opened the van, the door handle starting to get very hot. The heat from the fire warmed me in a way I've never felt. It was suffocating and blinding.

I moved the car closer to our house and when I got out the fire trucks were pulling up and unrolling hoses and I ran up and down looking for my group, the First Division.

I took this photo of the scene this morning as some construction guys arrived to start cleaning up.

This is the view from the front seat of my car, in the spot where it's always parked.

Thank God the wind was blowing south or our house might've been next.

I Like

2008-02-14T22:43:00.005+09:00

Today in my kindergarten classes we were practicing for our big English speech festival.

These are some of my kids trying their best to keep a straight face while talking about the things they like. We always use a plastic toy banana as a practice microphone and it makes them giggle like crazy.

My first year as a teacher it took weeks to even get them to this point. Nowadays I can get them wrangled up and ready to go in no time. By next Friday they should be ready to go upstairs and try it on the stage.

Winter Review

2008-02-08T23:18:00.000+09:00

During my winter holiday I drove out to see some old friends in Togo Town and Sendai, Kagoshima. My friend Dave and his lovely wife Mariko welcomed a new baby girl into their family over there at the end of December so I figured it was a good a chance as any to see some of the usual suspects.

This always happens.

Here's a photo I snapped at 6:24 AM, according to my cell phone. That's my friend and former supervisor Nabe-chan talkin' to some random old guy over some freshly-poured Asahi. We'd ducked into some late night pub after a full night of darts and shenanigans.

And yes, that old guy he's talkin' to has no shirt on. I'm sure there was a good explanation, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was.

A couple of weeks ago was the Mimata Town noyaki. The fire brigade gets called out to assist and keep watch while all the local farmers burn dry brush in their fields.

We also get to help light the fires.

It occurred to me, in a rather sudden revelation, that I've lit more fires with the Mimata Town Fire Department than I've put out.

My partner Matsuyama and I were lighting up sections of this area down by a nearby creek separating some rice fields when these two old fishermen caught sight of what we were up to and put their fishing rods down and used their cigarettes to help us light the dry grass on fire.

And what winter would be complete without a beard?

Reiko complains about my scratchy face when I don't shave, but after it gets past the itchy phase she calms down and enjoys the facial hair. I thought about going back to the kindergarten in January with the pale mountain man look but in the end thought better of it.

No need for an argument with the boss on your first day back in the new year.

And besides, food gets caught in there so much that it's more trouble than it's worth.

Test Results

2008-02-07T23:41:00.000+09:00

The lights weren't on in the house when I rolled up on my bike and parked it out front tonight. Reiko was still at her grandma's house doing some cleaning.

I took off my gloves and dug into my coat pocket for my housekey and yanked open the mailbox, expecting only bills or advertisements.

But there was something else.

I'd been expecting it but half forgot because I'd already made up my mind as to what it contained.

No matter what the result within the postcard was, for me it was the final closure to 2007, a difficult year for me personally due to problems I helped cause between Reiko and I.

The day I drove into Miyazaki City to get the sign-up form for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test was the lowest point, the worst day of the year. Lots of yelling and door-slamming (my specialty) and coming and going in fiery fits of fury.

It was during that hour-long drive that I talked myself down from the crest of calamity. Walking through that mall to the bookstore was like walking through gelatine with steamed up goggles and earplugs.

If you had asked me at the time I couldn't even have told you why I was signing up for the stupid test for the indignation I was suffocating in.

But time passes.

All things pass.

And those with the heart to make themselves keep forging ahead, deaf to the emotional adversity screaming from within, will at least have the privilege to say they didn't throw in the towel when they fail miserably.

Even before I finished the exam that day I knew I'd failed. I didn't even answer the last five questions because I ran out of time on the grammar section.

But at least I studied and went through with it and did my best and vowed to do it again next time and the next until I pass.

I believe that through that kind of perseverence Reiko and I were able to figure out what was wrong and fix it, which has led us to a new and deeper understanding of ourselves and our relationship.

These past few months have been the best ever, and things just keep getting better. And I have my optimism back, which I'd dropped somewhere back there on that rough road. And it's that optimism which is stronger now and will be my most important tool the next time the path gets dark and tangled.

So when I ascended the stairs this evening and put my things down and headed to the restroom that little postcard was to be my reading material. Appropriate, I thought.

These are the disappointments we should all have more of.

The Holidays Revisited

2008-01-26T12:56:00.000+09:00

December 23rd was the annual Mu-za Christmas party.

That a-capella group from Kagoshima, "Jimmy and the Kingtowns," came up again and I gotta say they are worth the trip if you can make it. Their backup on CCR's "Have You Ever Seen the Rain" with Yuichiro's band is worth the price of admission by itself.

Those lights outside the window were a nice touch too.

Reiko's mom decided to buy a new carpet on Christmas Eve. We combed the Miyazaki version of IKEA for about an hour before finally deciding on a good rug.

Along the way I got restless and wandered off.

Eventually Reiko and her mom found me.

I was testing reclining chairs.

I weigh about seventy-five kilograms (165 lbs). Reiko's mom weighs about thirty-five (77 lbs)... which is why I end up carrying her home whenever we go to Mangetsu or another nearby boozer.

Here's a thirty-five kilogram woman on a reclining sofa.

We stopped off for pachinko along the way home from the city. Nothin' like some video slots to enhance the holiday spirit.

The thing I love is the plate of salt outside the doors of the pachinko parlor. It's to purify the establishment, as I understand it.

Another reason why I love this country.

If someone put a cup of salt outside the Rio in Vegas someone would kick it over inside three minutes, pour tequila in it and splash it on the nearest bystander while shouting a cuss word for good measure.

They say America is a land of many cultures... but what it really adds up to is nothing.

This is the menu at that Chinese place in the Aeon Shopping Center in Miyazaki City. The tea was great. The Chinese characters say "Blue Tea."

I loved the Romanization on the menu.

Reiko's mom playing pachinko.

She won a little.

I lost.

But the memories will last a lifetime.

The Japanese Test Was A Bust

2007-12-05T22:46:00.000+09:00

The results get sent out in February and if it turns out I actually passed it I'll eat my hat.

On the up side it turns out the city of Kurume is great. Heading up there the night before and spending the night made the whole weekend worthwhile.

That feeling of pulling onto the highway ramp with the radio on and the late afternoon sun shining in through the passenger side window was my first clue I was in for a good time. On my own, feelin' free and easy, traffic was light the whole way up the Kyushu Expressway and I didn't stop at all for any breaks.

By the time I reached Kurume City the sun had long since disappeared into the sea. I exited the expressway using that new ETC automatic toll paying thing that Mi-chan recently had installed in the van and when I zoomed through the toll gate a voice out of the dashboard told me I owed the highway bureau fifty bucks.

The hotel I found online turned out to be kinda so-so, and even though they sprung for those futuristic toilets for the rooms the entire New Plaza Kurume Hotel needs a good refitting. My room was about ten times the size of a typical Japanese business hotel room, but furnished exactly the same, only with more space separating everything. The TV was about seven meters from the bed. I could've practiced cartwheels in that place.

After a little last-minute studying for good measure I headed out for some food and eventually came across a little place called Jumbo. The sign outside read, "Jumbo - Free Foods Bar."

Free food sounded good, and realizing full well this was probably some local barkeeper's own version of English that in no way correlates to the actual language of the same name I decided it was worth a peek inside.

Turns out Jumbo is run by a kind old married couple who at some point must have been at least nominated for Nicest People in Kurume. They fed me a good sampling of local delicacies, including mottsu nabe and deep fried oysters, all the while chatting me up about my impressions of Miyazaki and Fukuoka and Japan and even explained to me why there seems to be a more-visible-than-average presence of mafia-style "Member's Only" bars and clubs in Kurume.

I stayed there for a few hours and even traded phone numbers with this other surly old customer who said he really wants to take me out boozin' the next time I'm in town because all these years he thought most foreigners were big jerks but now he's having to re-think his philosophy.

Thinking that was a compliment I toasted him and said I'll be back again for sure.

The next morning at the test, I realized why that guy thinks the way he does.

There was this Taiwanese girl sittin' in front of me for the exam and at one point during the reading section she passed some serious gas. God only knows what she ate for breakfast but judging by the toxic fumes she released I'm guessing haggis and expired eggs.

So I'm doing my best to concentrate on the test and hoping the radiation cloud passes quickly when the guy behind me and the girl to my left start rustling around in their seats, obviously realizing they were in the hot zone as well.

And then I can feel their eyes on me.

Obviously they thought it was me, and I had no way to alert them to the true danger at hand. I'd think it was me, too, given the circumstances. I've cut some serious wind in my time, but nothing comes close to the human rights violation of this girl's flatulence.

The grammar section of the test was last and that's where I realized that my chances of passing were decreasing with each passing moment. There was a question that involved reading Chinese characters having to do with the fire department, and that made me feel good. The other hundred questions having to with gardening and marriage statistics made me want to sink into the floor and run away.

So I'll be back there again next year, it seems. Heck, it'll be a good excuse to go back and hang out with the good folks at Free Foods Bar Jumbo.

Last night Reiko and I went out for some dinner and ended up at Mu-za where Taka-chan took this picture of us and posted it on the bar's blog.

It's been a while since we had such a nice, relaxing night out, just the two of us. Reiko and I woke up this morning rejuvenated and with a fresh feeling, and also still slightly stinking of Guinness and shochu.

Every Sha-la-la-la, Every Wo-o-wo-o, Still Shines

2007-11-30T21:32:00.000+09:00

I was just sittin' here thinkin' of new and exciting ways to fill my Friday night while I really should be studying for my Japanese exam on Sunday when (cue "Yesterday Once More" by the Carpenters and roll montage) I began to reflect.

In these past ten weeks I...

changed addresses

paid massive amounts of Japanese taxes

was told by my kindergarten students I have gray hair on my head and proceeded to pluck them out straight away

missed a flight out of Tokyo's Haneda Airport and it just happened to be the last one for the day

found out they have TGI Friday's in Tokyo

officially operated the Water Jacket

ran around a bar in nothing but my underpants

stayed in our guest room for three nights

got the silent treatment

got banned from boozing outside the house

was chased by wild animals

hosted five house parties

drank ten machine-made cappuccinos in one three-hour sitting for only 80 yen

sent my very last payment to Sallie Mae

played Mad Libs

appeared as a guest on a morning radio talk show

fully appreciated the heavenly combination of citrus fruits and a hot bath

sang The Urufurus' "Nakete Kuru" on karaoke... and loved every second of it

told a customer service representative they were an idiot

made my first home-made sangria... twice

taught a three-year-old how to not be afraid of monsters

learned that being patient with myself is far more important than being patient with others

Every one has a semi-interesting story attached to it.

Today after work I got my usual five millimeter buzz cut down at Tadashi-san's place and he told me he's still feelin' stupid about takin' that picture of Scott and I in front of a translucent window on a sunny day so that all you can see is silhouettes, and I told him for the tenth time it was fine.

Then he asked me if I realized I was getting gray hairs left and right.

I told him it had come to my attention.

Tomorrow I'm driving three hours north to Kurume, in Fukuoka Prefecture, to take that test. I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna pass, but at least it's a good excuse for a nice long drive and a quiet evening in a different town.

Reiko just called me and told me to go and fill up the gas tank before the gas station closes becauase the prices are set to go way way up tomorrow...

Fifty liters for seventy-five hundred yen.

If you look here and here and do a little division...

That's $5.06 per gallon.

I tell ya man. Walking is the way to go.

Reasons I Love Our New House, Volume One: Wash and Dry

2007-10-22T21:29:00.000+09:00

This goes in the list of the top five things I love about our new place.

It's the control panel for our toilet.

For the first few days we were here I just relaxed on it and basked in the glow of not having to squat over a porcelain-lined hole in the floor anymore.

Then I took her for a test run.

The orange button on the left is the "brakes." The stop button. No matter what kind of situation you find yourself in, that button will bring you back to what experts call "just sittin' on the throne."

Next to that is, as the little picture so politely shows, the rear end washer, with the water pressure controls underneath. As the green light indicates, it's currently set to the weakest level. ALWAYS START HERE. Do not try and pull off the curb in fifth gear. Just don't.

To the right of that is a softer, gentler washer. A gentle spray. Nay, a splash.

The pink button is the bidet and I treat that like a pilot would treat the ejection seat button: very carefully. It really should have one of those glass covers over it.

And for the time being I was happy maneuvering just those buttons.

Until the other day... when I noticed the yellow button for the first time.

It says kansou. Dry.

Whoever invented this thing should get a Nobel Prize.

London Bridge

2007-10-12T19:41:00.000+09:00

The moving is nearly done and the hassles of changing things over like phones and electric bills and such are driving me nuts. I think I've been on the horn with the stupid internet company ten times in the last three days.

Monday we turn in the keys to the old place, even though we've officially been living in the new house since Monday, and then the festivities really begin.

That same night and the next we have house guests coming over to help "warm" the place up.

Great.

At least I can get some peace and quiet at work...

Moving Day!

2007-10-08T13:28:00.000+09:00

Reiko's mom spent the morning making a feast of a lunch, including my favorite: rice balls wrapped in seaweed with mentaiko in the middle.

Reiko's cousin Fumika and her boyfriend Tomo-kun are here helping us today. Tomo-kun and Mi-chan and I almost killed ourselves hauling the fridge up that dern staircase.

If the photos are shaky that's why.

Everyone Should Try the Water Jacket At Least Once In Their Lifetime

2007-10-07T08:55:00.000+09:00

It's been a while since all the hubbub died down about the American guy in the Mimata Town Volunteer Fire Department, and for my part it's been a relief.

However...

About two weeks ago I get a call from a nice lady in the Miyazaki Prefectural Government Office who says she'd like to do a story on me for the prefectural government newsletter, and would it be ok to come interview me and take a few photos.

I half-heartedly agreed and was pleasantly surprised when this lady Suzuki-san turned out to be not just pleasant but also quite professional. She went so far as to send me a thank you letter explaining what it is she does along with recent issues of the prefectural government newsletter with her previous stories tagged and a list of questions she wanted to ask me during the interview.

So she shows up at the firehouse at seven fifteen this morning where we're all gathered doing our usual thing: looking cool for passers-by in front of the fire engine and checking dials and hoses.

It turns out we really did have some important things to do today so Suzuki-san came at a good time and not one of those days where we're just pulling weeds in the parking lot or testing out the smoke detector by getting one of the guys to smoke a cigarette and blow smoke into the sensor.

The rain started to come down and she was out there in the street in her neatly dry-cleaned casual business attire and a high-tech digital camera while we siphened water out of the hydrant and shot it into a corn field.

Then I tried on one of our new toys: the Water Jacket.

It looks like a life jacket at first, but it has a pump-action steel hose attached to the side and the whole thing fills up with forty kilograms of water. Man I wish I'd had one of those when I was ten. Except for the forty kilogram part. The water shoots out strong enough to fend off a semi-expert mugger, and distance-wise I'd say you could knock over a tin can ten meters away.

After some embarrassing shots of me "driving" the fire truck it was all over and we called it a morning and now here I sit in my underpants drinking coffee on a Sunday morning and listening to a jazzy tune of raindrops hitting the roof mixed in with the steady beat of Reiko's sleep-in breathing and Peko and Poko's quiet chirping.

The new house is looking good. Reiko and her mom waxed the floors this week and we've officially moved a few things already. A week from today we'll be living there, and this room I sit in now will be all but empty.

Here's a little something I filmed at work on Friday. It's not that interesting, just me showing flashcards to my kids and asking them questions, but it's what I do.

When I hear people talk about their jobs in offices or cubicles or handling phones or customer service it makes me smile, because I know I have one of the best jobs in the world.

Virtuous Actions Create Virtuous Thoughts, Not the Other Way Around

2007-09-30T22:16:00.000+09:00

Last night I had fireman duty.

Matsuyama-san and I drove around the neighborhood in the fire truck with the lights flashing from seven-twenty until about ten after eight and even though we're supposed to be patrolling for a full hour we called into the dispatch office in the town hall at eight-fifteen and told them we were done.

The air was cool, but moist from the lingering afternoon humidity, so we had the air conditioner on in the truck and it caused condensation to collect on the windows as we drove up and down the dark, narrow streets of Ueki and Miyamura, not even a stray cat to be seen.

Afterward an old friend stopped in from Kagoshima and we went for some food and a few beers at that little pub down the road, Mansaku.

Man, I haven't been in there in forever. Reiko and I used to go there all time before she started working at the restaurant, and the master of the place was happy when she came in and joined us for a little while on her way home from work.

Today Reiko and I continued boxing stuff up and throwing out old things tucked away in the back of the closets that we don't need anymore.

I'm so glad I didn't marry a pack rat. Reiko's rule today was, "If you haven't touched it in a year-and-a-half, you don't need it."

I have a few sentimental things I keep just because, so there are always a few exceptions to the rule, but in the end I produced a big garbage bag full of old junk that would be better left out of our move to the new house.

A fresh start in a new place. It couldn't have come at a better time. Just when the world seems to be caving in on you a hand reaches in from the darkness and pulls you out.

In our case many hands, each one a sign of hope and a new breath of air for a healthy future.

Next weekend is yet another three-day weekend, and we'll be spending it carrying our neatly packed boxes of things over to our new place, just a minute or two down the road.

Sometimes I sit down to write a blog and try to figure out what made my day special. Usually it's not hard. There's always something, even if it was the funny thought I had while walking to work, or seeing an interesting insect outside in front of the house or even when one of my students says hi to me in that curious little way that kids always do.

But these past two months have been too special. Too full. And while there are parts that were some of the best moments of my life, they were balanced by some of the most difficult.

I learned some new things about myself, both good and bad, and I tell myself that the important part is that at least I "learned."

But the reality is that knowing isn't half the battle. It is the battle.

In these last moments of September, as I sit here in the old paper and dirt house we'll be vacating for good two weeks from tomorrow, I have a stronger feeling of hope for the future than I've ever had, tempered by the recently rounded up knowledge of the imperfections of myself and the way I envision my world.

I'm going to bed in a little bit here, after I take a bath and study a little of my Japanese grammar book, and when I wake up tomorrow it's going to be October of 2007.

That's crazy.

Here's my favorite recent photo of Reiko, taken on the cable car in San Francisco August 15th...

...many, many more to come.

These Ad Guys Are Geniuses

2007-09-29T23:32:00.000+09:00

There's this local monthly magazine called Furi Kuri that contains nothing but ads and coupons for local businesses and products.

This month's Furi Kuri's back page is a huge ad for Kirishima shochu.

And they're using Reiko to sell it!

Actually every month's Furi Kuri's back page is a huge ad for shochu, and they spotlight some local person who enjoys the product.

They have a whole "interview" with her printed next to the photo in which they paraphrase everything she said so it somehow relates to shochu.

I even get a mention in it as her crazy American husband who likes to drink shochu on the rocks rather than mixed with water.

This is how you move products, folks.

Heck, I'd buy Kirishima if I saw this ad.

The Big Beer Garden Night and the Samurai Master

2007-08-01T20:55:00.000+09:00

It ended up just being four of us last night. Reiko, her mom, Hoshihara and me.

Mi-chan gave us a ride into the city and he took off to do some things and then came back to get us after.

On the ride home Reiko gave me five thousand yen and said I should go to Samurai because she wanted to read her book in peace and quiet and go to sleep early and I always talk her ears off.

So Mi-chan dropped me off at Samurai, where I stayed until three in the morning chatting with this young couple who were on their second date, and since I was kinda tipsy I started askin' them all kindsa personal questions but they seemed to enjoy it and moved down the counter to sit next to me.

When the master closed up he gave me a ride home and I seem to remember us talkin' about getting some folks together for a camping trip or something.

I've Just About Had It With You, Mother Nature! Get Off My Lawn!

2007-07-31T14:42:00.000+09:00

Since Reiko and her mom and I will be flying internationally Sunday I've been keeping a close watch on my favorite typhoon forecast site. Nothing sours my happy fun joy travel mood like a tropical storm on the day of a flight back to the old country.

And until about forty-eight hours ago everything was fine.

Then Typhoon Number 5 shows a blip on the screen, or as the East Asia Weather Service has named it, Usagi. Rabbit.

Cute.

When I first spotted it, though, something else ran through my head... our Tuesday night plans!

I'm off work today, and with good reason. At four o'clock (just one more hour from now) Mi-chan and Reiko's mom are comin' to pick up Reiko and I and we're driving into Miyazaki City for a special rooftop feast at the beer garden on top of the Yamakataya Department Store.

The typhoon's still churning up way out there in the ocean.

In case you wanna get a glimpse of me on Google Earth or if you have the urge to assassinate me with a satellite-guided rocket, the green arrow there shows what my exact location will be in approximately two-and-a-half hours.

If you're gonna celebrate something I can't think of a better way. For about thirty-five bucks you get an all-you-can-eat buffet and all-you-can-drink beer and shochu. Outside! On the roof of a department store!

Mother Nature was tryin' to muscle in but she ain't no match for the awesome power of a beer garden reservation.

Thursday, however, when that typhoon rolls in, I'm guessing she'll have the upper hand.

Just as long as it's all cleaned up by Sunday morning. We've got a plane to catch!

And People Still Wonder Why Reiko Always Seems So Tired

2007-07-29T23:39:00.000+09:00

Today's afternoon shopping trip to the grocery store down the road...

toothpaste
new toothbrush
flip-flops
whoopie cushion

Reiko should be home shortly.

Marriage Is Like Brain Surgery

2007-07-26T23:37:00.000+09:00

Because you're on call twenty-four hours a day.

And if you mess up you get hauled into court.

I didn't make it to poker last night, and this time it wasn't because I was in the doghouse.

There's no need to go into the whole story (it's not that interesting), but Reiko and I had a communication breakdown (not language-related as it turns out) and I was pretty angry about it.

Anyone who knows me well knows I don't tend to get angry over just anything, and let me tell you I was surprised myself over how this all spiralled through my head. My usual way is to just think things out and eventually come to peace with a matter through thorough self-contemplation, acquiescence, large amounts of shochu and/or giving in and accepting there's nothing I can do about it.

Which is how I probably ended up with a nice list of ex-girlfriends but only one Reiko.

It was by my own volition that I didn't go to poker, but instead sent a text message to Reiko that she had better come home as soon as the manager would let her.

She sent a message back asking why.

I told her if she really didn't know then we had even more to talk about so I'm waiting and you better be fast.

She was home soon after.

We spent a good long time talking about things, took a break to go to Seven-Eleven and get some food, and then resumed the discussion until all the finer points were ironed out.

Things weren't always like this.

Until Reiko trained me I used to just go out and find ways to occupy my mind so I didn't have to think about the problems in my personal relationships.

So when I told her what I was angry about, she didn't get angry back. She talked the situation out with me and in the end said she was glad I forced her home from the restaurant early to have it out (though she was a little surly at first).

I really wanted to go play poker, and I probably could have put off having this talk with Reiko, but I find I can't concentrate on or enjoy anything until we've at least sat down and talked about what's going on, regardless of whether we figure it all out or not.

That's a Spicy Meatball

2007-07-26T11:00:00.000+09:00

Today at the kindergarten I played musical chairs with a bunch of my classes since I won't see most of them for over three weeks and I wanted to leave them with a fun game they all love.

Listen closely.

This is why I couldn't be truly happy doing anything else.

Reiko's First Time Using the White Board

2007-07-24T22:16:00.000+09:00

Yesterday I took the morning off to drive into Miyazaki City and visit the fine folks at the immigration office. My visa was set to expire next month so I wanted to get it renewed before going overseas for the summer vacation.

I was really hoping for the three-year visa this time around but they just gave me another one-year, which means I'll be back to see that cross-eyed jerk at the immigration counter again next summer.

They're crackin' down on those spouse visas these days. You gotta jump through a lot of hoops before they start to believe you're really married.

The sun's been blazing and the humidity is stable in the upper eighties. It's towel-around-your-neck and bring-extra-undershirts weather for sure.

After work I drove home with windows down and sweat running down the back of my neck, but not before stopping off at the beer vending machine in front of Mr. Otsubo's liquor store. I always wonder why that guy has two beer machines in front of his shop. I suppose it's sort of like having an ATM in front of a bank.

Reiko's mom bought me a lawn chair with a drink holder on it a while back, so I plopped that thing out in front of the house and watched the sun set behind the rooftops and enjoyed my vending machine Asahi Super Dry and listened to my favorite talk radio show from Los Angeles via the Internet.

The last glows of light were fading like an abandoned campfire, and I didn't feel like goin' back in the house, nor did I feel like continuing to be a mosquito buffet, so I grabbed my bicycle key and rode down to the Miyakonojo Station area.

Reiko had left me a message on the white board in the kitchen in which she reminded me that we're going to celebrate next week in Miyazaki City and to please drink a lot of beer then, but last night I just wanted to have a couple of pints at my favorite joint.

Fuku-chan was kinda dead when I walked in, but it picked up while I was in there. He gave me a plate of meat on sticks on the house.

I spent some time talkin' to this other dude at the counter who was in town on business from Tokyo. He said he passes through this way sometimes and he always makes it a point to have some yakitori at Fuku-chan's place.

I rode my bike home and got there just after Reiko.

She asked me where I was and I told her and she laughed and said she figured and that's why she wasn't too worried.

Home Invasion

2007-07-21T23:22:00.000+09:00

I came home the other night and set about changing Peko and Poko's water dish and giving them fresh seeds and then changed out the newspaper and vacuumed up the little feathers that had accumulated around their cage.

It was nearly ten and I'd had a long day after a full schedule of open house lessons at the kindergarten and then two private students after work, so it was with a sweaty brow and heavy shoulders that I made my final approach to the fridge for my dinner and a well-deserved cold Asahi Super Dry in a chilled beer mug specially prepared by Reiko.

And then air raid sirens should have gone off because out of nowhere the insect kingdom was making a full assault.

First it was a giant cockroach zipping across the floor and up and over everything, obviously impervious to Reiko's grandmother's special poison roach snacks. Then a medium-sized jumping spider dove off the wall and ambushed me. After that I heard the clicking of eight legs on the paper doors and one of those hand-sized spiders was doing reconnaissance for some unseen commanding officer.

I made for the bug spray (see photo), which incidentally is called "Asu Jetto." It's hard to tell sometimes with English words that have been put through the Japanese phonetics grinder what exactly they were trying to really call it, but my guess is "Earth Jet." Since there's no hard "r" or "th" sound in Japanese, however, it just comes out sounding like "Ass Jet."

After pointing this out to Reiko recently she stared at me like I'd just read her the ingredients list off a candy bar wrapper and went back to reading her magazine.

Weapon in hand, I took on my opponents, forcing one out the door and weakening the hand-sized spider to the point where I was able to vacuum him up...

Only to have a second hand-sized spider come zipping out from behind the cupboard, obviously getting the distress signal from his fallen comrade and rushing to the scene as back-up.

A struggle ensued and he tried to take cover near some folded laundry, obviously knowing I won't spray him there with the Ass Jet.

In the end we did battle on the edge of the tatami by the sliding glass door and my nemesis finally hurled himself out into the darkness, knowing he could never defeat the powers of good.

Bloodied and bruised I headed for the shower and turned the water on and brushed my teeth and just when a moment of peace was settling in another jumping spider took me by surprise right there in the bath.

Reaching for the water controls I turned off the cold and steaming hot lava began churning from the shower head, just barely missing scalding me before I pointed the water at my jumping intruder and he was down a boiling hot drain pipe of acid before he even knew what happened.

Four Nines Busts Me But I Still Win In the End

2007-07-19T23:35:00.000+09:00

I hit my queen high straight on the turn, and in my head I was preparing to take down the pot and the game. Two nines were on the board, and the likelihood that Lewis had a full house was slim because I don't know him to bet before the flop with a jack nine.

So I feigned displeasure at seeing a jack, which made my straight.

He bet, I called.

A four on the river and I was pretty confident it was no help to him. Unless he had that jack nine, but my read was telling me he didn't. As it turns out, I was right.

He goes all in. I call.

Bruno's still hangin' out and watchin' as I reveal my straight, so I tell Lewis to please show me the full house, fully expecting him to have three-of-a-kind or maybe two pair.

Turns out his pocket pair was nines, giving him four-of-a-kind, wiping out my beautiful straight, and Bruno yells like he just saw the Angel Gabriel come down and give Lewis a Dutch Rub.

I guess it was payback for my calling him down with a pair of twos against his nicely bluffed straight draw an hour before, which put me in the lead by a long shot early in the game.

After that my chip stack was severely crippled. I made a go of it and tried to come back, but in the end I went all in with a nice hand and Lewis once again flopped a straight and it was over.

Wednesday night poker is something I look forward to, but last night was especially good. Just four of us. A mellow mood and a jolly joust of cool cards.

In just over three weeks I'll be trying my luck at the tables in Vegas. Can't wait. Playing against these scoundrels here is good practice.

So I drove home smilin' after what was probably the most satisfying (though not profitable) night of poker I can remember, and when I sneak into the house Reiko was still up reading.

We'd had a little disagreement the other day about anniversaries.

She's not really into them and I (much to my surprise, believe me) apparently am.

It was suggested that we don't have to necessarily celebrate everything, do we? To which I protested.

I'm not all into nostalgia but I do like to make special days special, even if it's just a little note left in the sock drawer or a cookie with a candle on it.

Reiko put it out there a few days ago that we don't need to make a big deal out of our birthdays, to which I was in full agreement, as I'm not exactly a big birthday person anyway (a least my own, that is).

But she was reeeeally scaling it back, to a point I felt very uncomfortable with. Even a dinner together at home within three days of said day was off the table.

So we were in a sort of stalemate. Agreeing to disagree but not happy about it.

Until I came home from poker last night, and Reiko puts her manga down and picks up a Miyazaki restaurant guide and starts flipping through it casually without my taking too much notice and then she says she and her mom decided on a place to go for my birthday and they made reservations but it's not gonna be until the next week and a couple of other family members are already in and it's a secret but she's positive I'll be really happy.

Animated question marks and whirly-whizz thingies popped out of my ears and that "Boing!" sound rang out from nowhere.

I guessed at it.

"Sushi Tora?"

I love that place, and they all know it.

Reiko shook her head and said I'd be even more happy than that.

Huh?

So I guessed Fuku-chan. (I was just there Sunday night but I'm happy whenever I go there.)

Reiko said I was thinking way waaaay too small.

I asked her if it was someplace I'd been before (hey, I'm good at twenty questions!) and she said, "Nai!"

So after a couple more guesses I got close enough for her to just give it to me.

I can't wait.

Folks, Just Always Wear Your Seatbelt

2007-07-18T20:40:00.000+09:00

Twice a month I go out to Sanyabaru Nursery School in the northern part of Miyakonojo to work my magic and also work up a real good sweat singin' "Head Shoulders Knees and Toes," and most of the time the guy who runs the place, Mr. Noguchi, comes and picks me up in his 4x4.

Today, though, he shows up in this fancy white coup and when I got in the front seat and we drove off from the kindergarten I asked him if it was new, to which he just responded with a cryptic, "Not really."

He's a really quiet guy, that Noguchi-san, but that's part of the reason why I like him. He's not perturbed by silence.

We've had a lot of quiet drives together.

In the end he told me the computerized mechanism of sump'm got all messed up on the 4x4 so he got rid of it and now he feels like a schlub driving around in this white four-dour with wood paneling in the interior.

The other thing about this guy is that he's got all kindsa licenses (boats and trucks and such) and has got to be the safest driver in all of Japan. I can't tell you how many times I've just wanted to get back to the kindergarten so I can go on my lunch break and this guy is slowing toward a stale green light, with the intent of stopping completely should it turn yellow.

This morning he was executing a perfectly formed and well-practiced right turn when the light changed to yellow while we were already into the intersection and I think I caught him sigh with regret.

Don't get me wrong, though. I ain't complaining.

The old lady who comes and gets me when I go to Sakae Nursery School was wearing a neck brace one day about a year ago and I asked her what happened and she said she had a car accident... in which she slammed into a parked car.

Last week she tells me she had another fender bender because of a "mirror malfunction" or something.

A Morning Walk Is So Much Better When You've Got a Fan Club

2007-07-17T22:30:00.000+09:00

I woke up to a partly cloudy morning and checked the weather report, and for the first time in I-can't-remember-how long the forecast was calling for sunny skies.

And so it was that I ventured out of the house on foot for the first time in a week.

The humidity was high so by the time I was a couple of blocks away sweat was already dripping down my back, but the air was clean and fresh and my nostrils were sucking it all in like a high-powered vacuum.

I waved hello to the lady down the street who runs a dog grooming business out of her house. Reiko's mom recently started taking Lili there and I enjoy chatting with her from time to time when I see her in the neighborhood or at the grocery store.

After sauntering through the new Lawson convenience store parking lot and crossing the street to the little path that runs along the Toshimi River I came to the Hana Nursery School, this little place run by two older women out of what looks to be a converted old house.

One of the kids who goes there, five-year-old Haruki, comes to my Saturday English class at Reiko's mom's house, but somehow all the children there know me now.

After coming across one too many snakes on the other side of the river I started using the path on the side that passes in front of the nursery school, and every morning all the kids drop their pails and shovels and elephant-shaped watering cans and come running up to the fence to greet me, some wearing nothin' but underpants and others offering me their mud-cake concoctions.

The old ladies who run the place wave and bow and always thank me for saying hi to the children.

The kids reach out through the little white nursery school fence to try and touch me like crazed Beatles fans, and they scream my name and say, "Good morning, Miklos!" in what could probably be misunderstood as good English.

I wave and say "Good morning" back and then they all start yelling at me, "Doko iku no?"

"Where are you going?"

Every morning, same question. And I always answer by telling them I'm going to work.

This usually seems to please the kids and they continue waving and yelling my name and "See you!" until I'm clean out of sight.

Better than a cup a coffee, I tell ya.

Three Day Weekend

2007-07-16T21:32:00.000+09:00

Friday afternoon Typhoon Number 4 edged closer and closer to southern Kyushu, whipping up high winds and storm clouds and pouring rain over Miyakonojo in what seemed like an endless torrent.

I left the kindergarten after a particularly long week of open house lessons, came home, found my dinner in the fridge that Reiko left for me and waited for the call.

By eight o'clock it came. Fujii-san called and told me we were meeting at midnight at the Block 8 Community Center, just up the street from the fire station.

Thankfully someone had the good sense to move our base of operations to the community center instead of the tiny little fire station. Sixteen guys cooped up in that room gets old after an hour or so, especially since half of them smoke and most of us get pretty flatulent after eating nothing but rice balls and instant ramen, and it's not like we can step outside or nothin' because there's a typhoon bearing down on us.

We spent the night watching the storm coverage on the TV and taking turns going out in the fire truck to check and make sure people were safe. A few guys set up the mahjong table and played while a couple of guys caught 40 winks, and I brought a deck of cards so Fukuda-san and Sazawa-san and I played poker and blackjack.

By morning the typhoon had really picked up. The front entrance of the community center was flooded, I'd been out for two shifts in the fire truck, and Fukuda-san admitted he had Uno cards in his bag so we added a new player and were betting money on Uno.

Out there in the high winds and rain we got a bunch of calls from around the neighborhood. We fixed a broken drain pipe at the town gymnasium, found some crazy old lady sweeping leaves in front of her house in the middle of the storm and helped one guy take down the flag pole in his yard before the wind knocked it down.

We weren't let go until 6:45 Saturday evening, almost nineteen hours after we first showed up for duty.

I'd slept maybe an hour. Hadn't bathed in about forty-eight.

I drove home and opened up the storm doors on the house and cleared away some debris that had blown in from God-knows-where.

Reiko was at her mom's place, but she said she was comin' to pick me up and take me over there for some food and beer. That sounded good to me, though I told her I wasn't sure how long I was gonna last before I conked out.

That night I slept for ten hours, but it still wasn't quite enough.

Sunday I pulled weeds in front of the house and took an afternoon nap, and under a pink and turquoise evening sky I rode my bike down to Fuku-chan for some yakitori and beer.

Today is Marine Day in Japan, though the last thing on my mind was the ocean. A light drizzle fell and I divided my time between household chores and figuring out how to slow things down a little. Life's been kinda crazy lately.

Today also marks seven years since I came to Japan.

Some Days It's Great To Be Alive, Other Days It's Even Better

2007-06-16T18:23:00.000+09:00

Yep, it's been a while.

Lots has happened in the last month.

But for now, here are some pictures from our field trip today with a bunch of my elementary school English students.

We hit up the Kagoshima Aquarium and wreaked havoc all along the Japan Rail Nippo Line.

Any Time You Need A Toolbox To Serve Dinner You Know You're Gonna Be Eatin' Right

2007-05-19T23:47:00.000+09:00

Tonight I was invited for a special dinner at Reiko's mom's house.

Here was the main course being served.

There were a handful of guests but after all was said and done it was just Reiko's mom and I, so I poured us both some shochu out of the carton and we talked for a long time about life, marriage, Reiko, boozing, our forthcoming trip to America and all the crumbs that fall in between. We laughed enough so that our shochu spilled on the table, but it was easily mopped up with tissues that we needed for the more serious parts of our discussion.

Reiko got off work around midnight and came over just as her mom and I were really hitting a good conversation stride, so the two of us agreed that we need to go out one night very soon, just the two of us, while Reiko's working.

Reiko's mom was in the middle of telling me why she thinks she failed as a mother and I was in the middle of a grand rebuttal, complete with examples, when it all came to a sudden end with Reiko's arrival.

The dinner above was a big fish called tai in Japanese, but which in English they call bream. Reiko's mom and Aunt Toshie caked it in a thick layer of salt and baked it for about forty minutes in the oven.

The result was the best-tasting fish I've ever had the pleasure to eat.

That's Aunt Toshie with the hammer and screwdriver. Cousin Fumika and her boyfriend Tomo-kun are also there watching all the the fishy action. And just in case you were on the fence about popping an aspirin, Lili is on hand with her constant barking.

The best part for me was that Aunt Toshie fashioned the salt cake to look like the fish itself, complete with gills and eyes and scales. I asked her how she did it and she said it was easy.

Inspiration Speaks In Whispers, A Subtle Voice For Keen Listeners

2007-05-09T23:16:00.000+09:00

Last Thursday was the first day of a four-day holiday weekend, and since the weather was forecast to turn sour by the next sunrise I decided there was nothin' for it but to go ahead and strike out on foot while the sun was still shining.

After hanging some laundry and munching a few leftover donuts for a late breakfast I plopped down in the genkan of our house, slapped on my walking shoes and wandered up the street.

And then down another street. And up another.

And before I knew it I had put over six kilometers between me and the house and had gotten it into my head that I should look for this mountain I'd heard about since I was already in that general vicinity.

Down near Yasuhisa, on the southern end of Miyakonojo proper, I thought I'd spotted the right road, so after walking up it for a while, passing old farmers tilling their fields and burning compost, my internal compass was telling me to hang on a bit. There weren't any signs either, though that sort of thing never concerns me much anymore as there are hardly ever signs for the things you're looking for.

After circling back a bit through a little side village I came upon a tiny liquor store with a vending machine in front of it, so I bought a refreshing Aquarius and gulped it down right there in the afternoon heat and went into the liquor store to see if anyone knew where Kanemi-dake was.

The proprietor was an old lady, and she came out and saw me standing in the doorway and got this look on her face like she should probably be ready to call the cops any second, but when I inquired about the mountain she pointed back the way I'd just come so I sighed and thanked her and was on my way again.

Eventually I made it, but not before scraping the hell out of my left ankle and ascending a treacherous mountain road that I'm glad I was at least on foot for because I think driving up it would be more worrisome.

Here I am at the peak of Kanemi-dake, looking out from the hang glider platform at the very top. It was a little hazy but you could still see all the way to the glimmering water of the Okimizu River.

There's a little covered area next to the hang glider platform with a picnic table and a bench so I walked toward it for a rest and when I got there there was a young couple making out.

I shooed them away with my foreign ways and sat down and drank some tea and pondered a road that would get me home before dark.

The path home was slow and steady, and after descending the steep windy line down the east side of the mountain my calves were burning.

And then in the air I smelled it. The omelet. I had to make one. A big one. With all the fixins.

There were already bunches of eggs and onions in the kitchen, so on the way home I stopped at the store and picked up a thing of shredded cheese and green peppers and one of those thousand-milliliter cans (the ones that look like a silo) of Asahi Super Dry and had one beautiful feast.

Behold my five egg super omelet. It took fifteen minutes to cook all the way through and almost twice that time to eat it.

Tucked Away

2007-05-08T21:52:00.000+09:00

Last weekend I went for a bike ride around Mimata and ended up following that narrow little winding road up past Kamiyone Park into Kajiyama, where that house is. The one I want to live in.

Nice, ain't it?

But following a series of lighthearted discussions with various friends of the family it turns out the old lady who owns the place and only uses it for storage and gardening isn't so keen on renting it out.

So I'm filing the thought away with all those other ideas and inspirations I have which I need only hold out for and make sure to keep my eyes and ears open for so when the chance does come to grab them (and those chances always come around eventually, some way or another) I won't miss the train.

This is the view looking out from the front of the house.

Nice, ain't it?

It was a good twenty-minute bike ride from the house we live in now, but it's maybe six by car.

Reiko's sweatin' this one out. She likes the house but isn't very excited by it's remote location. I told her we're walking distance from several convenience stores and groceries now and she still never walks to them so why the fuss?

If that old lady changes her mind and decides to talk with us Reiko's gonna have a hard time talkin' me out of this one.

It Was Kinda Hard To Get Up and Go To Work Today After Such a Nice Four-Day Weekend

2007-05-07T21:40:00.000+09:00

My legs were a little sore from the previous day's adventure as I steered Reiko's car down the Route 10 into Kagoshima City last Friday morning.

Reiko's mom and Mi-chan and Reiko and I had planned on making it all the way down to Ibusuki to enjoy a good hot sand bath but we ditched that plan after traffic and weather conditions left us feeling a little less gung-ho.

In Kagoshima City we did some shopping (well Reiko and her mom did) at the new Dolphin Port, pickin' up some potatoes and cabbage and a couple of tasty-looking radishes, but that place was crowded and drizzly so we decided to put the car on the Tarumizu Ferry and ride across Kagoshima Bay to go play some pachinko in Kanoya.

Reiko's mom brought Lili along for the ride, too, and she seemed to like the boat ride, barking and wagging her tail and running around trying to bite kids during a good portion of the trip.

Unfortuant-ely, due to the rain and fog, we couldn't see a thing on the forty-minute trip across the bay. The cool, somewhat humid breeze was refreshing, though.

Reiko said I could hand the driving duties over to Mi-chan and go ahead and have a beer on the boat, but this boat was strictly Bring-Your-Own so I continued on as captain of our ship for another leg of the journey.

Turning south off the ferry on the east side of the bay, we drove on down and stopped off at this little soba shop where Reiko's mom ordered up a few bottles of beer before anyone had realized what was happening, so my driving duties came to a sudden and happy end.

That's my beef soba and beer up there.

Mi-chan didn't seem to mind being the designated driver for the final part of the trip, and after Reiko cleared a few hundred bucks at the pachinko machines he drove us all back into Miyakonojo just in time for dinner and Reiko treated us all to a huge feast at this so-so place called Higashi.

Mi-chan threw his hands up in the air when we got there and said we were taking a taxi home because now it was his time for some cold frothy goodness.

After dinner we were waiting for the taxi outside when Reiko whispered to me, "You wanna go out on the town, don't you?"

I had to admit that I did, but man was I wiped out by our land and sea and pachinko adventure, so we headed on home and we hit the town the next night...

I'm Starting To Forget How I Used To Spend Saturday Afternoons Before Coming Here

2007-04-24T22:31:00.000+09:00

First off, even at the edge of the forest, if you're wearing gloves and carrying a shovel don't be an idiot like me and wear sandals.

Saturday afternoon Reiko's mom came by and picked me up and we drove over to Tagami-san's house to help get ready for a little barbecue they were having.

Tagami-san's son-in-law-to-be Naoki and I hauled concrete blocks and planks out of storage and set up the table and then we walked up to the edge of the forest behind their house and looked for wild bamboo shoots to go with our dinner.

The one they had me dig up had sprouted right in the middle of the path, and boy was it a beaut!

I dug carefully around it and cleared a nice space in the ground where I could wedge it out and when it came up it must've been a good thirty centimeters, though when I removed all the layers of skin it looked considerably different.

And wow did it smell great. We thought about breakin' off some pieces right there in the woods but decided instead to hurry back down to the house and finish gettin' the grill ready and throw our bamboo shoots on there and eat 'em.

Reiko stopped by for a little while on her way to the restaurant and helped cook up our bamboo shoots and meat and fish.

Here she is with her mom, who brought along a cubic ton of squid, which also turned out to be like heaven over the charcoal. She also just happened to have a can of grandma's homemade miso with her so she spread it on the bamboo shoots while they were cooking and that turned out be pure genius.

By five the flames had been fanned and the first batch of shrimp and fish and squid were cookin' up and we had a right fine kampai and it was the first time in a while I've seen a whole group of Japanese folks drinking beer right out of the can instead of pouring it into glasses. (Except for Mi-chan, who couldn't seem to make the big switch from glass to can.)

The following day was a big Mimata Town Council election so all those incredibly loud cars were driving around with the candidates inside screaming their names as they circled town all afternoon and evening.

At one point after it got dark one of those morons came cruising along blaring on about how they're appreciative of everyone's support in this election, so we all took our beers out to the road and toasted whoever it was and then some old neighborhood lady spotted us and came over to say hello and chat so we welcomed her to our little party and she turned out to be pretty funny, like a Japanese Jeanine Garofalo in a track suit.

What Happened Next

2007-04-22T16:44:00.000+09:00

Last Saturday night after Kokubu-san's taxi sped off I got on my bike and started pedaling downtown toward Miyakonojo Station. Since it was still relatively early I figured a little beer and a game of Kabu at Fuku-chan might make up for missing most of my fire division's party.

On the way I called Lewis but he couldn't come out and play and my phone ran out of juice while I was talkin' to him anyway so I just kept on pedaling further toward the bright lights and smoky back alleys of Sakae-machi down by the station.

There was a group of young folks waiting with me at a crosswalk when one of them turns to me and asks, "Are you the dude who married Reiko Kojima?"

I told him that, yes, indeed that was me, and he says he was an old friend of her brother and that he thinks he met me once a long time ago. He introduces his friend Shige-chan and these girls they're with and I said it was a pleasure to meet them all and when the light turned green I said see ya later and entered the warren of dark streets leading to Fuku-chan's place.

But he'd apparently closed up shop early. I would've called him to see if he was out somewhere but my phone was dead.

So the next logical step was laid before me. I turned my bike down another dimly lit street filled with snack bar signs and stumbling old guys and made a bee-line for Samurai.

And wouldn't you know it. Those folks I met at the crosswalk were going to Samurai too, so we joined forces and boozed together for a while.

The master looked awfully pleased to see me and cleared a space at the counter when I walked in but I told him I was here with my new friends and he sat us at a table.

Over the next few hours I caught up with Reiko's brother's friend and racked up some cheap "sugoi"s singing some awful karaoke and it turned out that guy Shige-chan was my co-worker Lori's upstairs neighbor and had had one beer too many and was in search of a girlfriend and just when I thought that guy was gonna fall out of his chair they all took off and I saddled up at the counter to chat with the master.

As luck would have it the place slowed down and we started playing Kabu.

Till six in the morning.

When the master called an end to the game and announced it was time for him to close up I walked back down to my bicycle and checked my pocket to see just how much cash I'd lost, and it turned out I won. More than sixty bucks.

So I took myself out for breakfast at Joyfull and had a hambuger and chicken nanban platter and picked up a mountain of donuts for Reiko.

You Had To Be A Big Shot Didncha?

2007-04-15T22:33:00.000+09:00

After the fire department entrance ceremony yesterday me and the guys from Division One were all meeting over at this little izakaya called Masaru for some food and drink, but after we'd been there maybe forty-five minutes the call comes in.

The fire chief wanted me to come over to his place where all the bigwigs were boozing and a taxi was already on the way.

Great.

I do enjoy talking with that guy. He's the reason I got the chance to join the fire department in the first place. But I like hanging out with the guys in my group, and I'd been especially looking forward to seeing them last night because it's been a while since we've all been out together.

When the taxi comes by Masaru I get in and who's in the back seat but our division chief Kokubu-san. He's the guy in the picture there with the glasses, behind the blurry fire chief getting his smoke lit.

Kukubu-san apologized and said we'd be outta there as quick as possible and get on back to our group's party, but it wasn't to happen.

I walked into the fire chief's big party room across from his butcher shop and I get introduced and everyone, looked to be about fifty people, claps and I'm trying to keep a straight face and then Mayor Kuwahata tells me to sit down and he has someone fetch me a shochu and the whole time I'm talkin' to that guy I can't keep my eyes off his crazy lookin' facial moles and ash grey skin.

It wasn't until 11:30 that a taxi took me back to Masaru to fetch my bike, and by then all the guys from Division One had taken off.

Kokubu-san was in the taxi with me and he said he had to get home because he had to be up pretty early, so I thought about headin' home too.

But I didn't. And another curious adventure ensued...

Two Thousand Yen Buy-In

2007-04-12T23:54:00.000+09:00

So there's me, a dude from Chicago, two Texans, three Japanese guys, a dancer from New York, a surly Korean-American and two Canadians. Our Indonesian guy couldn't come because he was workin'.

Wednesday has become poker night, and through a series of events that involves Fuku-chan and that infernal Japanese version of baccarat called Kabu I took Reiko's cousin Fumika's boyfriend Tomohisa with me last night.

And out of the eleven players who bought in he came in third place and won about eight thousand yen. That's him there in the corner, in the white shirt.

He was excited about playing poker but had never played Texas Hold'em before and doesn't speak any English and the only foreigner he's ever really talked to is me, so he was a little nervous.

Luckily our other two regular Japanese members, Keisuke and Noda, showed up and Tomo-kun felt a slight bit more at ease, but the game got his blood pressure going, especially after he took down a couple of big pots and ended up in the top three, where the payouts go.

I busted out midway through, in sixth place, but still had a moment of glory when I flopped a full house, kings full of queens, and tripled my chip stack.

In the end my luck ran out and it was all taken down by Mr. Gonzalez, shown here turning over his final hand of the night and realizing he came in second, worth a good $140, and let out a squeal like he'd just spotted Ricky Martin at the supermarket.

Tomo-kun had to be at work at seven-thirty this morning, and since the game didn't get done with until one I'm guessing he probably had a long day.

But man oh man I'd love to have been there when he told the guys he works with what he did last night.

I'm the Only One Ever Nominated In My Category

2007-04-11T22:10:00.000+09:00

This photo was taken last month, on my last visit to Kaminagae Nursery School for the 2006-2007 school year, and was presented to me yesterday mounted on a big, colorfully decorated construction paper frame.

My fourth one in as many years, and they all hang in my classroom at the kindergarten, the oldest one warped from summer humidity.

Tom Hanks collects Oscars. I collect these.

All the kids here just graduated from nursery school and started the first grade this week.

I go play at this school twice a month, every month of the year. We sing the "Hello" song and "Old MacDonald" and read Grover's Alphabet Book and play "What Time Is It, Mr. Wolf?"

Save a few kids who started nursery school late, I've known them all since they were just coming off potty training.

Sunday In the Park with Everyone and Their Dog

2007-04-09T23:34:00.000+09:00

Normally I'd feel like a big derelict for going out into a public park to sit on the ground and barbecue on a tin can and drink beer and shochu around little kids, but since half the town showed up to do the same thing I guess it's fine.

The nice folks at the town hall even put up paper lanterns that come on at night should you choose to stay and enjoy the revelry until after the sun goes down, which came in awfully handy since we were there until just about eight o'clock.

Family and friends showed up, about a dozen or more so in all, and we cooked up beef and fish and intestines and someone even brought some horse liver sashimi and this one guy Hechi even brought some fancy shochu called Mogura that Mi-chan must have thought was water at first because I've never seen a guy chug shochu like that.

Reiko had to be at the restaurant by six-thirty but she relaxed and ate and pilfered strawberries out of the cooler for as long as she could before taking off.

As usual I don't think anyone really noticed the cherry blossoms, save for when a breeze would come and knock petals off the trees and into our food and drink.

Lewis and Co. were having their own flower viewing party just around the bend from us so he came over and toasted and chatted for a while with Reiko's mom and Aunt Yukiko, both of whom hadn't really seen the big guy since he married Reiko and I last year.

Man, That's a Lot of Tulips

2007-04-06T17:37:00.000+09:00

Thanks to some accrued overtime I managed a day off today, so since Reiko was off from the restaurant and her mom is pretty much always free I drove us all into Miyazaki City for lunch at the Miyazaki Kanko Hotel, where they happen to have one of the city's most well-stocked all-you-can-eat buffets.

As we sat there sampling all the fine dishes of pasta and chicken and several dozen different kinds of soup and salads I looked around and noticed there were really no good-looking people in there.

You know how you can go almost anywhere and, without fail, at least one or two people will sort of stand out because they just look good, well proportioned and stylish?

Today the Kanko Hotel buffet was filled with homely people. And it kind of got me thinking, "Do good-looking people go to buffets?" Obviously there are exceptions, since Reiko and her mom were there, but they were with me so they had an excuse.

I thought about sharing this observation with my two lunchtime companions but in the end just kept it to myself. Reiko puts up with my idiosyncrasies so long as she can field it all herself and not have to explain to anyone yet again that the doctors think I might have a brain cloud.

One bite of cake away from needing wheelchairs to get out of that place we paid the check and headed up the road near the Ocean Dome to the Miyazaki Florentine, where they're having a tulip festival.

There in the gardens they had an ice cream stand and Reiko asked me if I wanted some and get this: I actually had to think about it. My belt buckle was creaking from the expanding pressure and I was considering toppings.

But I behaved myself and declined.

On the ride home we stopped off in Kiyotake and played some pachinko at the ol' Monaco Palace parlor. Reiko's mom and I busted out pretty quick but of course Reiko won, so now we're about to order up some afternoon draft beers and figure what to do next.

Also, it turns out that house I discovered last week might just be a pipe dream. But we'll know more soon. Reiko's mom goes up there to do gardening every week and she knows the old lady who owns the place pretty well. They grow beans and radishes together.